


Chronicles of Logan Huntzberger in Four Stages

by MidLifeWriter



Category: Gilmore Girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-09-26 14:30:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9904463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidLifeWriter/pseuds/MidLifeWriter
Summary: This is a companion piece to my other story "Chronicles of Rory Gilmore..."What becomes of Logan after "Fall"?  Let's find out!





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say? I just can't quit these two. This is Logan's story/POV from after he and Rory say goodbye in New Hampshire. 
> 
> I may find a way to merge the three stories eventually.
> 
> As always I welcome your comments/critiques. Please excuse the errors. Like I stated before I am the worst editor. If you see some errors, please let me know.
> 
> Lastly, many thanks to my fellow Rogan fans who have published here. Your stories inspired this one.
> 
> Thanks!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's life between the proposal and meeting Rory in Hamburg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to add Logan's "origin story" to this one to give it more depth and continuity. Too much?

**Prologue**

 

He went to California to start a new life. It was what he needed, to be somewhere where no one knew him. He left behind him a bevy of disappointments: bad business ventures, family strife, and broken promises of love. California was the place to get lost.

And lost he got. For the next three years it was nothing but work. 12-18 hour days in the office punctuated with excursions seeking California/West Coast adventures. Hiking and biking the mountains, surfing the ocean, weekend skiing trips to Canada, sojourns to the desert. All along he made good friends, excellent business contacts, and most importantly, he was able to find some solid footing again.

 The 2008 mortgage crisis hit the economy hard. Everyone was suffering, including the once untouchable Silicon Valley. He felt lucky finding a business venture that was a niche, rendering his work immune from the meltdown going on around him. E-books/e-readers were the “it” thing in the publishing world, and delivering the printed word in a new way was game to be played. Going into business with developers and engineers who had ideas on ways to build platforms that could deliver multimedia e-books to the masses seemed like fate, a venture he seemed to be preparing for from birth. Thanks to his ability to source revenue and charm the publishing world with their product’s potential, they soon became one of the most sought after companies for acquisition. While many larger entities were interested, none was more interesting than The Huntzberger Group.

 He remembers the phone call. His father put on his usual bravado, that kind of tone and language that sounds like a compliment, but really is a put-down. Nevertheless, he arranged a meeting. Their people met his people. There were expensive dinner meetings and late nights smoking cigars and drinking very very expensive scotch, golf games, deep-sea fishing trips, and tickets to sporting events. Finally, an offer was made to which he formally (and with quiet glee) rejected. "Sorry Dad”, he said, “But Google just made a better offer.”

There was swearing, promises of revenge, humiliation, and questions of family loyalty. Then about a week later a phone call, congratulating him a job well done. “ You really stuck it to me didn’t you son.” His father declared with pride. All was forgiven. Business is business after all.

With the thrill of victory and the hunger to do it again (not to mention a large payout that would keep a person of lesser means comfortable for the rest of his/her natural life), he sought out new adventures, and while there were many who would have been more than happy to have him to his surprise, the venture that made the most sense was the one waiting for him with his family's company back home.

The return of the prodigal son meant settling back into familiar territory, London. The European division of The Huntzberger Group needed an infusion of new blood and Logan was ready for the challenge. He dove in headfirst. While the work was intense he was surprised at how much he enjoyed it.

Yet, all the professional success was not enough, or at least that what others believed. Now that he was back and heading down the “correct path”, questions arose about his personal life. "Are you seeing anyone special?" His nosey relatives would ask at family gatherings. “When are you going to settle down?” others would ask. “I would like to see you with someone who will understand you and our family, like that Fallon girl.” His mother would say over and over again. Young, handsome, and wealthy made for a busy social calendar, and while he did not live like a monk, he had no desire commit either.

They met at Wimbledon the year Marion Bartoli won the Ladies Singles. She was the stepdaughter of this woman, who was a friend of some friend. They ended up talking after being forced to sit next to each other on a crowded car ride to dinner. He was initially impressed by her knowledge of the mechanics and nuances of Tennis, she was impressed that he wasn’t an arrogant ass like he initially came off. She had a wicked sense of humor; he had a sincerity that was genuine and heartfelt. They went on their first date a month after the tournament when he called on her while on business in Paris. Children of privilege (her father was a Swiss-French banker, while her mother came from old Parisian money) they found they had similar childhoods including the tendency to burn through au pairs and nannies and getting kicked out of prep schools.

While their early years were similar, their post –secondary education lives couldn’t have been more different. He went to Yale, where partying was interrupted by the occasional paper and test, only to have him pulled into the family business where initially tried and failed to succeed. She, on the other hand, found a more subversive way to rebel. After completing Lycee and her parents’ messy divorce, she went to nursing school, eschewing high society life to work in a charity hospital and living off the salary that she made working rather than that of her large trust fund. In 2010 her work eventually led her to Haiti where she served as an aid worker following the earthquake. She returned home the following year to take care of her mother, who was diagnosed with Lymphoma and was there holding her mother’s hand when she succumbed to the disease two and a half years later. Attending Wimbledon was her first social activity after her losing her mother.

She decided to take up her mother’s charity work, particularly with raising money for medical research. When they met she was in the throes of setting up her foundation. She exploded into the charity social scene and soon her calendar filled. He supported her work, escorting her to as many events as he could, participating in crazy fundraising stunts, lobbying for donations whenever possible. They discovered that they both liked adventure; rafting down fast rivers, skiing in uncharted territory, eating seemingly inedible exotic food when dared (and drunk.) They talked, laughed a lot, and developed a genuine affection, dare they thought, love for each other.

A year into the relationship, questions started to arise. “So when are you two going to make it official?” ‘You know, she is a catch, you must let her get away”, “He is perfect for you, and you’re not getting any younger.” While his affection for her was genuine and sincere, there was a pang in his core that something was missing. He longed for that feeling, the sense of being home. He felt that way once, but she turned him down saying that she was not ready. He convinced himself that capturing that feeling again was unreasonable; emotions felt with one’s first love is always more intense than what follows because after all, it was the first.

He believed he would find no one better than her. She realized she has never been in love before and is happy to have found it the first time around. He proposed to her on the balcony of his friend Colin’s Villa located on the cliffs of southern Italy the evening Serena Williams won the French Open. Upon hearing the news their parents rejoiced in excitement and relief.

Plans began in earnest. They initially wanted to get married that December; Christmas season wedding because her mother loved Christmas. Yet, the small intimate Paris wedding they desired soon grew into an unruly social event thanks to his mother and her stepmother, who in her opinion, the most odious woman alive. Schedule conflicts, venue availability, and other matters pushed the wedding out to the following December, specifically, December 3, 2016.  Calls from organizers and maternal entities with requests to add to the guest list were made daily. Ideas for themes were floated and scrapped, and showdowns over flower arrangements and hor d’erves selections became a weekly rite. Whenever ideas were challenged, parental, familial, and societal expectations and obligations were always there to counter, until at last they lost control.

Seeing as weddings were seen primarily as a “bridal” event, she bore the brunt of the planning. Because she abhorred certain kinds of attention, the event became a source of conflict. But she had no choice seeing that he was in London and she was Paris, where the event would take place. They agree to pick their battles, promising each other that the “Dynastic Plan” as they privately began to refer to their wedding, would be the last. Individually they ask themselves as to what they look forward to the most, the wedding day itself, or the day after when it is over.

Along with the event came the questions about married life; where would they live (NOT in the US.) How many kids to have (no more than 4), how to strike balance between their busy schedules. What would marriage and family life look like day to day? It was decided that they would start out in London, as business obligations were not as flexible, and that she would commute as needed. She determined that she would have her dealings at her Paris base wrapped up for her move to London in the Fall. Everything was falling into place. The future was set...

 ...and then he went to Hamburg.

 

 

 He traveled for business, there to meet with his American-based counterpart as she passed through town on a different matter. He arrived only to find that his American colleague was delayed one day after flights out of New York were canceled because of bad weather. Having a day in Hamburg to himself, he decided to play tourist, starting his day with a late morning coffee.

 

It was there in the café he saw her. She was sitting at a table next to the window, wearing a stunning red dress. The late morning sun shined slightly above her, making her hair and ivory skin sparkle. She was reading (of course) and writing notes, as if she were studying for an exam. Realizing and embarrassed that he was staring, he quickly moved towards the exit before he could be seen. Yet, as he was about to open the door to leave, something made him stop. With a deep breath he turned around and approached her. “Of course I would run into you at a coffee shop," he said. She looked up at him startled. “Oh my God, what are you doing here?” She answered. She looked more beautiful than he remembered, “I got stood up by an associate so I am wallowing in coffee” he bantered back. He sat down and the two got reacquainted. Her trip to Germany, she shared, was a combination of business and pleasure. Upon finding out that she, her sister, and her father would find themselves in Europe at the same time, the three decided to spend a week together before going their separate ways for the summer. They met in Berlin, where they toured the sites that U2 had walked when they almost broke up during the recording of Achtung Baby, and then did a self-styled Astrid Kirchherr tour of the Beatles sites in Hamburg. Her sister and father had left for their respective destinations two days prior while she stayed to attend a conference of the European Environmental Council where Naomi Shropshire was the keynote speaker. That morning she had a meeting regarding Ms. Shropshire as part of her research for an article she was writing for The New Yorker. “I was supposed to leave for home this afternoon,” she reported. “ but the bad weather in New York delayed my trip until tomorrow.”

“So how are you?” she asked; it’s a loaded question. The last time they saw each other she had turned down his proposal of marriage, and he walked away seemingly never to be heard from again. “I’m good, really good.” He replied. Without realizing, they slipped back into their familiar banter.  He tells her about life in California and rejoining the family business, she tells tales of her adventures while covering the Obama campaign and her travels and assignments afterward. They update each other on their families and mutual friends, and he tells her about his fiancée and upcoming marriage. She seems genuinely happy for him.  

Since they both have a free day, they decide to take in the sites of Hamburg together. They tour the places that she wanted to see but didn’t have time for when she was with her family. She recreates the cheesy but informative Beatles tour that she and her family enjoyed a few days before. There is much laughter as she does her imitation of her father doing an imitation of Ringo. There was more coffee, a late dinner, and after dinner drinks. At the end of their time together he walked her to her hotel where they exchanged contact information, promising to stay in touch. “It was so great to see you!” she said. Before she took her leave, they gave each other a long affection filled hug and she kissed him on the cheek.  With a smile and a slight wave she turned and walked into her hotel.  Meanwhile, as he watched her departing image, he felt completely immobilized, thanks to the feeling of electricity pulsating through his body as the result of that goodbye kiss.


	2. Prologue

**Dubious Faith**

 

_Oh, to be home_ , Logan thought to himself as he sat in the back seat of the car taking him home from Heathrow. The last two weeks have been a marathon of late night work sessions and business trips. He was just getting back from the second of six trips that he had scheduled for the next month. With his wedding coming up in a few weeks, Logan felt it was important to get all his work affairs in order so he could celebrate the culmination of the “Dynastic Plan” and enjoy his honeymoon with no work worries hanging over his head. 

At least that’s what he told people.  


In truth, he was trying to escape. Trying to escape the profound sadness that had befallen him ever since he got back from his trip to see Rory. He went to see her for closure. He went there with the hope that she would tell him that she wanted to be with him. Alas, he didn’t get what he wanted, so he had to move on, move on and embrace who and what was waiting for him in London.  Yes, there was a twinge that something was missing, yes the idea that he was settling was ever present in his mind, but that could be remedied with time. He just needed to get over Rory once and for all and then life would be good. 

At least that’s what he told himself. 

The problem was lately he’s been having trouble believing himself. 

With each day that brought him closer to his wedding, Logan found his resolve being eaten away by the lingering doubt that was planted a year and a half ago when he reconnected with Rory in Hamburg.Rory’s words,“Are you really going to marry Odette?”echoed in his head at inopportune moments, making him loose his train of thought, stop him in his tracks, or catch his breath,The more he thought about it, the more his concerns grew far beyond his feelings for Rory.For the past year, he had been engaged in an affair with a woman with whom he was hopelessly in love.The fact was, if Rory would have told him that she loved him and wanted to be with him, he would have left Odette.But what if he had not run into Rory in Hamburg?What if Rory had not been a part of the equation at all, would he still feel the same way about his impending marriage?It didn’t help that he had genuine feelings for Odette.It was not like what he was embracing was so horrible. In fact, the life that he was headed towards would be the envy of anyone. He was marrying a beautiful, intelligent, generous, down- to-earth, strong woman, who was one of his best friends and greatest confidant. They got along well, had the same values, wanted to build a future that would provide the genuine love and comforts lacking in their own lives. Plans had been made, invites and RSVPs sent out, prenups negotiated, a beautiful life envisioned, a commitment has been made.But was it enough?Was it enough to build a life that would be true?

The questions continued to plague him as he arrived home mid-morning. _It could very well be cold feet_ , he thought to himself, it could very well be that life with Odette would make him happy and that this doubt was nothing more than mourning his relationship with Rory.He knew one thing,  and that was he needed to talk to Odette about it.He needed to get it out in the open once and for all.No secrets, no hiding, no more letting circumstances control his life.

Logan entered the flat as quietly as possible.  Knowing that Odette had an event the previous night, he took great pains not to disturb her in case she was still sleeping. He was a bit surprised to see a pair of men’s shoes in the foyer. _Moritz must be here_ , Logan thought. Moritz was Odette’s cousin. They were as close as Logan was with Honor. His presences in their apartment was fairly regular.  Logan walked upstairs to find no one around. The bed had obviously been slept in so he knew that Odette was home (Odette was very OCD about unmade beds, she wouldn’t have left without making it.) He heard noise from the kitchen and walked in. 

What he found was totally unexpected. 

There standing at the opposite end was Odette, engaged in a passionate embrace with a man he’d never seen before. At that moment Logan felt like he was having an out of body experience. He heard an exclamation in French followed the statement, “Logan I didn’t think you would be home till this afternoon.” 

“Umm, Odette? “ Logan said rather neutrally, “It seems we have some things to talk about...” 


	3. Hope: Truth Among Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Odette have their first honest conversation in over a year.

**Truth Among Friends**

 

Logan left to get a tea at the cafe around the corner, giving himself time to recover from the shock and Odette’s gentleman friend to leave without incident. Upon his return he found Odette sitting on the freshly made bed.The fact that she cleaned up made him giggle to himself; even in extremely difficult situations, Odette’s chosen way of coping was to clean.

“Hi,”  he said.

“Hi,”  she responded.

Logan walked over and sat next to her on the bed.  They sat in silence for a while, not looking at each other, not knowing what to say.  “I met him six months ago.”  Odette finally said.

“Uh huh.”

“His name is Benoit.  He is a research doctor with the _Institut de National du Cancer._ I met him during a week-long colloquium at the _Institut_ ; he had just started which is why I had not met him before.  We were introduced, we shook hands and I instantly felt this electricity.  It was very disconcerting. 

“I see,” Logan responded.

"We spent a week together at that colloquium _._ It very difficult because I felt so attracted to him.  I found myself flirting with him rather innocently, I couldn’t help myself.  Once the colloquium was over, we went our separate ways.  I thought this was minor incident; I was engaged not dead, so of course I would find other men attractive.  I didn’t act on it.  Then around the beginning of July, there was an event and not only was he there, but we were seated next to each other.  Blame it on the wine, blame it on the strong feelings, I don’t know, but that night is when it started.  We were inseparable for the next two months.  I knew it was wrong, but again, I couldn’t help it.  I attributed the affair to what is the term?  Cold feet?  I thought I was just nervous to get married.  I thought I would get this out and then you and I could get married and live in peace."

“Okay.”

There was more silence.

“Logan, say something please.” Odette pleaded.

Logan got up off the bed and started walking around.  He started to laugh in an exasperated, ironic way.  _How funny that we are in this position_ , he thought.  He looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes.  She was feeling guilty, he couldn’t let her take all the blame.

“What if I were to tell you that I was seeing someone else too.  For the exact reason that you were seeing Benoit?  What if I were to tell you that I rationalized the relationship the same way you rationalized your’s.”

Odette looked at Logan incredulously.  “You were seeing someone else?”

“Yes.” he said apologetically.

“For how long?”

“About a year.  It pretty much ended when you moved in, but was official about a month ago.”

“A YEAR!?!?”

Now Odette was up and stomping around the flat, beside herself, “A YEAR?!?!”

“Whoa, I catch you with another man and you’re mad at me?”

“A year Logan!   I was feeling guilty all this time and it turns out our relationship has been a mess for A YEAR!!!!  Who is she, Logan?”

“Rory Gilmore.”

Odette knew the name.  Logan first told her about Rory a few years ago, when she and Logan started getting serious.  Odette knew that Logan had proposed to Rory and she turned him down.  Her name would come up now and then.  Odette would see articles Rory had written on his tablet, or Colin, Finn, or Robert would bring her up in conversation when discussing their college days.  Never in her wildest dreams would she have guessed that this mystery woman would play such a critical role in her life.

“I thought you lost touch with her?  How did you reconnect?”

“When I went to Hamburg last year.  We saw each other in a cafe.  She was scheduled on a flight home that day, but her trip was delayed because of bad weather in New York, so we spent the day together playing tourist.  Nothing happened.”

Now it was Odette’s turn for one-word responses, “Ok.”

“A couple of months later, she came to London on assignment, and well, that’s when things restarted…”

Ode walked to the window and looked outside.  This revelation had answered so many questions.  Like the earring she once found on the floor, why she once found her pictures put away in a drawer, and the many times she could not get in touch with him when she called…

“Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

Odette walked over and sat next to Logan on the couch.  Looking straight ahead she opined,  “We are really awful people.”

“The worst,” Logan responded in kind.

“When did we become such cowards?” Odette observed.

“I wouldn’t call it cowardice, I would call it confusion.  You are an amazing woman Odette, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Yes, I get it, I felt the same way.  I didn't want to hurt you either,"  Odette replied.  "But Logan, let's follow that line of thinking, shall we? We didn't hurt each other, and yet, there was this need for us to be happy, which these other relationships provided, so we lied to each other about them.  We rationalized said relationships by lying to ourselves.  Looking into the future, you and I go on, break the other relationships that made us happy and get married, so again, so not to hurt the other.  In order to cope with that decision, we have to continue the lie.  Then, years from now,  when we no longer can lie anymore, we go through a crazy nasty divorce.  And why?  Because we got married because we didn’t want to hurt each other in the first place.”

Logan started to laugh, “Wow, now that you've spelled it out it appears not only are we awful, but also pretty damn stupid.”

Odette looked at Logan with a wry smile.  He smiled back.  She leaned over to hug him.  They sat there for a minute hugging each other very tight.  He kissed her on the head before she let go.

“Benoit came here to ask me to come back to him.”

“What did you say?”

“I said yes.”

“Well, if that’s where you believe you belong then that’s where you should be.  Anyway, even if you said no, I think the events of this morning have officially put the kibosh on the ‘Dynastic Plan’.”

"Oh, 'The Plan'! " Odette reflected sarcastically, "No more 'ethereal centerpieces reminding one of a 'romantic winter wonderland' "

"No more 300 guest reception of which we only know 50, and like not even half," Logan added.

"No need to sacrifice 150 lobster for appetizers."

"The crates of champagne would have been nice."

"Well, we would have needed it to get through that mess."

"It really would have been a circus."

"I always despised circuses."

“Your stepmom and my mother are going to crushed.”

“Ah, the silver lining.”

They both let out ironic giggles and hugged again.

“How is this Logan?  How is it that our engagement just blew up in our faces, but we are friends?”

“Maybe because this is how our relationship was meant to be.”

‘What are you going to do Logan?  You said that it’s ended with Rory.  Are you going to try to get her back?”

“It seems that’s my only option right?  I have to try.”

“I want you to be happy.”

“I want the same for you.”

 

Little did Logan know, that at the same time across the pond, Rory was having her own "moment of truth".

“Mom?” Rory asked tentatively.

“Yea?” Lorelai replied somewhat absentmindedly.

“I’m pregnant.”

 


	4. Hope: Closed Doors and Open Windows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan begins life post-Odette/London where he reconnects with Rory in an unexpected way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially, I was not going to include passages from my other story, but now I feel that leaving them out would be confusing. What do you think?

After their talk, Logan and Odette’s immediately set out to officially begin their “uncoupling”.Odette started out by informing the Claude, wedding coordinator, who because he always sided with Logan’s mother and her stepmother, was a person she grew to hate with a passion.It took every ounce of her being not to be gleeful when she informed him that the wedding was canceled and that after he informed all the vendors, his services were no longer needed.Next, they informed their immediate families, who received the news with mixed emotion.As expected, both sets of parents were upset and angry, both demanding further explanation than, “it just wasn’t right.”Both sets of parents implored them not to be hasty in their decision, citing cold feet, wedding jitters, and all other cliches associated with canceling a wedding.Logan and Odette quickly grew tired of their inability to accept their decision, stating to them definitively that the engagement was over.Logan’s sister Honor and Odette’s cousin Moritz first received the news with some sadness and then relief after Odette and Logan gave a more detailed reason for ending of their engagement.Logan also informed Colin, Finn, and Robert. “What does this mean mate?” Finn asked Logan, “Does this mean you are going to restart things with Rory?” 

“I’m going to try,”  Logan responded.

That evening, after dinner and a heartfelt goodbye, Logan moved to the Dorchester, where he stayed for the next two days before taking off to India for his next business trip.  During his time away, Odette packed up her belonging and moved back to Paris.  A week later, Logan came home to an Odette free flat (while the contents of the flat were not terribly depleted, her presence was noticeably gone.)  Logan wanted to call Rory right away and tell her about the change in his situation, to tell her how he felt and how he wanted her back in his life for good, but out of respect for Odette and also to protect Rory from any gossip or accusations, he decided to let matters regarding his botched engagement die down before contacting her. 

Somehow, Logan’s parents found out about Odette’s affair with Benoit, garnering from them some understanding and sympathy.  Logan used those emotions to his advantage, telling his father that he needed a clean start and that moving back home to the States was the best option for him.  Logan knew that the Assistant Director of the Print/Publishing division of the Huntzberger Group was retiring and that the Director had only a few year left before she too would move on, so Logan proposed his moving to that division to “learn more of that aspect of the business.”  Mitchum reluctantly agreed.  By mid-December, having transitioned his business affairs, Logan packed up his flat and moved back to the States. 

Upon his arrival in New York, Logan began planning his reunion with Rory in earnest.  He wanted to see her as soon as he landed, however that desire was quickly dashed by his work obligations.  The Huntzberger Group had recently invested in a small publishing company in Philadelphia.  Their Board of Directors were not only meeting the next day, but they were also sponsoring a launch reception for their publication on public art that same evening.  As the assuming Assistant Director of the Print /Publishing Division, Logan was expected to be there.  The frustrated Logan relented; he would see Rory soon enough.  The next day Logan attended his meetings.  He did his best stay focused on the task at hand, shaking hands, participating in strategic discussions, putting on his serious face.  However,  in reality, all he could think about was seeing Rory and what he would say to her when they met.  By the time the book reception started that evening, he had grown a weary and a bit frustrated, deciding that he would give himself an hour, feign jet-lag, and make a quick getaway.  He was saying goodbye to one of the members of the board when to his great surprise, he saw Rory standing at a table a mere ten feet away. 

At first, he thought he was mistaken.  _Why would Rory be here of all places?_   Logan quickly erased that question from his mind.  It didn’t matter why she was here, it just mattered that she was here.  Seeing that she was about to walk away Logan called out to her,  “Rory!”

She stopped in her tracks “Uh…hi” she greeted him uneasily when he arrived next to her. Logan gave her a polite but awkward kiss on the cheek.

“What are you doing here?” She nervously asked.

“The Huntzberger Group is a minority partner in the company that published this book. I’ve been wanting to immerse myself more in this aspect of the business, and well…since I decided to move back to the States, I thought this was the time to do it.”

“So…you’re living here?”

“Well, not here specifically; New York actually.”

“Oh…” Rory said with forced enthusiasm, “…welcome back!”

“So, I guess you heard about Odette and me?” he continued.

“Yes. I was at my grandmother’s a few weeks ago and some of her friends were there.  It was the talk of the gathering. “

“Yea. Well, it wasn’t right, it just wasn’t right.”  

Rory caught Logan’s gaze. He gave her a hopeful smile, which made her loose her footing. He caught her as she almost stumbled.

“Are you ok?”

“Wow, it just suddenly got really hot in here. Did they turn off the A/C? 

Looking at her quizzically, Logan replied, “It’s December...” He continued, “Look, I’ve been wanting to call you, but I needed to settle things with Odette first. Can we talk please?”

“Well, I can’t right now.”

“O-kay then later? Tomorrow? You name the time and place I’ll be there. Come on Ace…please?”

“Umm, yea. You know what, I’ll call you. I have to go.”

Logan watched helplessly as Rory turned and quickly made her way to the coat check.He felt even worse when he saw her stop and talk to a man who he recognized as her ex-boyfriend.  This man, after putting down their drinks and spotting Logan,immediately went after her. 

On the way home that night, Logan couldn’t help obsess over his encounter with Rory.She didn’t seem happy to see him, in fact, she looked downright frightened.What did he do to solicit such emotion? As the night wore on, other thoughts invaded his head.Why was Rory at the reception with her ex?Were they back together?These and other questions plagued Logan all night, so much so that he got very little sleep.By morning he was on the verge of becoming a wreck.He was about to call Rory when his phone rang.

“Hey there little brother, “ Honor greeted, “What’s wrong? You sound awful.”

Logan proceeded to tell his sister about the previous evening.How he ran into Rory.How she practically ran out of the room when he approached her.How she was there with her ex.

“Wow, crappy, crappy, evening.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Are you going to call her?”

“Yes, but I don’t know when.I don’t want to overwhelm her.”

“True but…”

At that moment another call came into Logan’s phone; it was Rory.

“Honor, Rory is calling, I have to go.”

“Ok, call me back!”

Logan switched over.

“Rory, hello.” Logan greeted.

“Hi, I didn’t call too early did I?” Rory asked.

“No, no you didn’t.So how are you?”

“Oh, I’m good.  I'm still in Philly, waiting for my train to go home.Anyway, sorry about running off like that.You really surprised me.You were the last person I expected to see last night.”

“Well, you know I’m full of surprises.”

“Yyyea…um can we meet up?We really need to talk.”

“Sure tonight? Tomorrow?”

“How about tomorrow?Brunch maybe? We can meet half-way.”

“Are you sure? I can come to you, no problem.”

“No, half-way is better. “

“I think I know of a place.Why don’t I make reservation and text you the details?”

“Great.See you tomorrow.”

“Ok, then.”

Logan hung up the phone and immediately started researching restaurants, deciding on one he knew well not too far from Honor’s house in Darien.He called to make a reservation, asking for a private room so that he and Rory could talk freely.He texted Rory the details, setting the time for noon.Rory’s call brought about much excitement and nervous energy, so much so that he decided to go running to keep himself from going crazy.While on his run, he thought about all the possible scenarios that could happen from very worst(her telling him that she hated him and never wanted to see him again) to the very best (them taking off to Vegas and getting married that afternoon.) 

After his run, he headed out to see Abraham, a long-time friend of the family and the owner of one of the best jewelry stores in New York.The last time Logan was at his store had been about two years ago when he bought a ring for Odette.He remembered while on that shopping expedition, he came across an Art Deco halo ring that was both elegant and quirky; it reminded him of Rory. _Maybe seeing a ring that reminded you of your ex should have been your first clue_ , he thought to himself as he searched through Abraham's ring inventory.After what seems like hours, Logan found the ring.  Abraham then took it, gave it a good cleaning, and returned it to Logan asking in a good-natured but concerned way, “Are you sure this one is going to stick?” 

“I sure hope so Abe.”

“Well, good luck Logan.”

He knew buying a ring was illogical, and that he was possibly setting himself up for emotional suicide, but he did it anyway.  After two years of not being deliberate about his relationships, he wanted to take a stand, even if in the end he (and Abraham) was the only one who knew about it.All in all, he thought, his meeting with Rory could come down to three possible outcomes; they could break-up for good, they could start again slowly and see what happens, or they could make a full commitment.What ever happened Logan felt fully prepared for his meeting with Rory.

Unfortunaely for Logan, there was a fourth outcome for which he did not plan.


	5. Anger: The Fourth Outcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory reveals her news to Logan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least Logan has his sister in his corner.

**Anger: The Fourth Outcome**

 

12:37 pm. Logan couldn’t help but contemplate the time as it flashed on his phone. Thirty-seven minutes. Thirty-seven minutes ago, he thought he what he was up against. Thirty-seven minutes ago he had a plan on how he would handle the outcome of his meeting with Rory. Thirty-seven minutes ago he was in control.

 Thirty-seven minutes ago, Rory had arrived at the restaurant for their meeting.

Fifteen minutes ago all those notions, almost everything that Logan came to believe about himself and his relationship with Rory, exploded in the worst way. Logan had just laid his feelings on the table, confessing to Rory everything he was afraid to say for the past year.

  _I’m just going to come out and say it. You inhabit my every thought. It takes so much energy just for me to function on a basic level since we last saw each other. Leaving you that morning absolutely gutted me. Even if Odette chose to go through with the wedding, I wouldn’t have. You are for me Rory, you are it for me._

Logan thought he was prepared for anything, he thought that he could handle whatever would come. He was wrong.

 _“I’m pregnant Logan.”_ Rory informed him _“Going on 10 weeks.”_

 _“And there’s been no one else?”_ Logan asked

_“No.”_

_“So that means?”_

_“Yes.”_

 

For some men, this would be an occasion to bolt. But not for Logan, once the news sank in his reaction was not fear, but joy, absolute joy.

Unfortunately, Rory did not share the sentiment.

Three words. The world as he knew it came crashing down with three words, “I don’t know.”

_“I have no permanent home, no permanent job. I am pregnant with a child by a man with whom I had an illicit affair while he was engaged and I was seeing someone else! I mean who does that? I’m a walking telenovela!...I never for once thought you would not be involved. I know that you would never shirk your responsibility. The degree to which you want to be involved is up to you. However, I think you and I getting back together is not a good idea._

Then, in the end, she got up, handed him an envelope and walked out, leaving him in utter shock and confusion.

 

Logan was brought back to reality by the waitress, “Sir? Is everything all right? Can I get you something?”

“Oh, no. I apologize. I’ll just take the check.”

Paying out the check, Logan went to his car.   He sat in the driver's seat and rested his head on the steering wheel trying to work through the sudden surge of emotional pain coursing through his body. He picked up his phone and made a call, sighing in frustration when it went to voice mail, “Hi it’s Logan,” he said, “I need to talk to you. Please call me when you get this message.” Logan hung up and contemplated what to do next. Then he spotted his gym bag in the back seat.

Forty-five minutes later, he was in one of the indoor tennis courts of his parent’s club. The advantage of having the name, he could get into the club without any question.  He spent the next hour or so hitting tennis balls, trying to vent out as much frustration as possible. His activity was interrupted by a call, “Hi”, he immediately answered, “Can I come over?”

A half hour later, he was parked in Honor’s driveway. His sister, hearing his car drive up, was standing outside waiting to meet him. His call made her worried, but the grave look on his face made her downright scared.  They walked towards the house, past Josh and the kids playing in the backyard, through the kitchen door and then headed straight for the study.   Logan sat down on the sofa, holding his head in his hand. Honor handed him a glass of water and sat down next to him.

"What the hell is going on?” she asked worriedly.

“She’s pregnant”, Logan blurted out.

Honor was stunned. She looked at her brother carefully and asked, “Who’s pregnant?”

“Rory.”

Honor exhaled, “Oh, thank God…”

Logan shot his sister an annoyed and curious look, “What?”

“For a minute I thought you meant Odette. I was picturing a Bridget-Tom-Giselle 2.0.”

“No, it’s Rory.”

“Annnd?”

“And what?”

“And how are you involved in this!?!”

“I am the father.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Rory said that she has not been with anyone else. She would not lie, so yes I am sure.”

“And you are upset because…”

“She doesn’t want to be with me. She has made the decision to continue the pregnancy, to parent and everything. She said she is open for me to be involved, but she just doesn’t know how I will fit into ‘her’ life.”

“Oh, Logan…”

“What the hell is happening?”

"What do you want to happen, Logan?"

"I don’t know, I don’t know anymore."

Honor looked at her brother. He looked worn out, as if he had not slept in days. "Logan, have you eaten anything today?"

Logan shook his head no.

“You know what? “ she declared, “You are in no condition to talk. Take some time to process. Why don’t you have something to eat, take a shower, and then we will talk. Ok?”

Logan nodded his head.

Honor was right. After a full meal, a hot shower, and an afternoon nap for good measure, Logan felt more clear headed.   The reality of the day's revelation finally wrapped itself around Logan's brain; he was going to be a father. He recalled the several conversations he and Odette had about starting a family. Having been raised primarily by nannies, she and Logan agreed that it would be different with them.   They wanted to be more involved, more hands on. While the situation changed, Logan still felt the same, but with Rory and the state of their relationship what would that mean? What would that look like?

Logan was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking tea and thinking when Honor approached him, "Ready to talk more?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"What a day..."

"Tell me about it."

"Ok, can you please tell me the whole story?"

"Well, I told you that Rory and I had been involved for almost a year. When Odette moved in this past August, we ended the relationship. Well, she ended the relationship, I was not quite done. After about 6 weeks of brooding and obsessing I went to see her for closure, and that’s when it happened."

"And when was this?"

"This past October."

"October? So that puts her at about eight weeks?"

"Ten."

"Ten Weeks? Wow! And she just found out after ten weeks or is she just telling you now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ten weeks is a long time to wait, Logan, I mean she is just short of going into the next trimester. Also, you were supposed to be married about two weeks ago. Why would she wait so long to tell you? It would be understandable id she _just_ found out, but speaking from experience, unless there is something going on biologically, you pretty much know two weeks after the fact.”

Logan sat for a minute. _Yes,_ he thought, _why did she wait?_

Logan stood up and headed for the door. As he was putting on his coat and checking his pockets for his keys and phone he told his sister, ‘There is something I have to do, I’ll be back. Don’t wait up.”

A little over an hour later, Logan found himself driving through the Stars Hallow town square. He had gone to the house but no one was home. Turning the corner he saw the lights on in Luke’s diner, with Luke, Lorelai, and Rory inside looking like they were cleaning up for the day.   Logan parked and tried his best to calm down. He knew he could not walk in with guns blazing, but the more he thought about it, the harder it was to contain his anger. He got out of the car and walked to the diner. Seeing that the door was locked, he started banging on the door. He saw Rory and Lorelai look up from their tasks and Luke run out of the kitchen. “Rory!” Logan yelled from behind the locked door, “Let me in, I need to talk to you.” Rory opened the door, and Logan burst in. “When did you find out?” He angrily asked.

“What?” Rory replied confused.

“When did you find out you were pregnant?”

“Late October.”

“So, late October, and I am only finding out about this _today_?!?!”

“I was dealing with a lot...”

"When were you planning to tell me, Rory? Or were you ever going to tell me?????”

Clearly offended, Rory answered, “Of course I was going to tell you!”

“So when Rory? WHEN? I was engaged Rory, _on the verge_ of getting married. If I hadn’t walked in on Odette then we would be on our honeymoon in New Zealand!”

“You said you didn’t want to marry her anyway.”

Logan, bursting with frustration, “That’s not the point! You waited this long to tell me?! AND the only reason why you did is because we ran into each other and forced the issue!! If I had not been at that party then when would you have told me huh? When were you on your way to the hospital to give birth? At the kid’s first birthday? When the kid got into a good prep school and you needed money for tuition?”

“Hey! I! SAID! I! WAS! PLANNING! TO! TELL! YOU!”

“Did the past year and a half really mean nothing to you at all? I was really just a distraction, a crutch?”

“NO! I mean, YES, it meant something to me, YOU mean something to me. I love and care about you so much, but right now I cannot concentrate on anything but this baby and getting myself together. Do you get that?”

Sighing with resignation, “Yes, I do.” Logan answered quietly.

Rory, matching his tone, “I always planned to tell you.”

“Yes, but on your own terms right? Everything on your terms right? I mean all that bullshit you said today about how I can be as involved or uninvolved, Do you really think I would abandon you? Do you really have that low opinion of me???”

“No, I BELIEVE that you would be there. I never once thought you would abandon me...”

“So what? You think that you can go and play super-modern woman and raise this kid without my input...”

“No, not at all”

“Good, because I’m here to declare that that will not happen. I’m the father, I have rights!”

“Of course you do.”

Logan turned away, taking deep breaths, becoming visibly calmer, but on the verge of tears, which he hid from Rory. He couldn’t take it anymore.

With his back still to her, the dejected Logan asked, “So you have a doctor?”

“Yes.”

“You like and trust this doctor?”

“Yes, it’s the same doctor that delivered Lane and Zach’s twins.”

“When’s your next appointment?”

“Next month, on the 16th in the morning.”

“Ok, well I’ll be there. Text me the details?”

“Yes. For sure.”

“Good. See you then.”

With that, Logan left the diner.  He walked straight to his car where again, he sat with his head on the steering wheel trying to process what had just happened. He looked up and saw Rory sitting in the diner visibly shaken while Lorelai hugged her. For a split second, Logan felt compassion for her, but that was quickly replaced by anger. He honestly did not know what he could or could not believe anymore.

When he finally got his bearings, he drove off, back to Honor's house where he found her sitting in her kitchen waiting for his return. She greeted him at the door with a hug and an offer for a hot chocolate and a cookie, something she would make for him when they were kids (she also threw in an offer for an adult drink which he declined.)

“Everything will be ok, I promise.” She assured her brother as she went off to the refrigerator. Logan looked at his sister as she busied herself around the kitchen, _thank God,_ he thought, _thank God for her._

He felt his phone buzz. He sat down at the kitchen table and started emptying his coat pockets. He pulled out his phone, which showed a text notification from Rory giving information on her doctor’s appointment, the engagement ring, and the envelope containing the ultrasound which Rory gave him earlier.   Logan just sat there staring at these items, wondering what was coming next.


	6. Anger: The New and Improved Logan Huntzberger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is Logan coping with the situation at hand? Let's find out.

**Anger: The New and Improved Logan Huntzberger**

 

_It was great to see you too. The evening doesn’t have to end. Would you like to come up for a drink? Catch-up a bit more? It has been a while…_

The evening started innocently enough. Logan attended a dinner, a medium sized gathering celebrating the 40th birthday of Logan and Honor’s cousin Darby. Attending this gathering were Honor and Josh, Logan and Honor’s other cousins, and close friends of Darby’s from various stages of her life, including  Claude, an old family friend and one of Honor’s infamous bridesmaids.

Logan and Claude had a history. Her family and the Huntzberger family had been linked for generations. Logan and Claude played together as children, she went to Brearley with Honor, and she and Logan engaged in a ‘casual” relationship his first two years at Yale. When he and Rory broke up the first time, Claude became a source of companionship in the days and weeks following culminating in a one night stand. It was Honor’s suspicion that Claude, despite her subsequent boyfriends, never totally got over Logan. “Please be kind to her.” Honor implored to Logan while having lunch a few days before the party.

 “What do you mean?” Logan asked genuinely innocently.

 “Claude?? How she feels about you?? I swear, boys…” Honor answered rolling her eyes.

 

Although it was a nice evening, Logan found that he could not fully relax and be present because he had so much on his mind. It had been a tough month. Having learned that he was going to be a father, Rory and the baby were naturally what he thought about 24/7. Luckily, when needed, he had the ability to push the thoughts aside to deal with matters of work and such, but the situation with Rory was ever present.   

It wasn’t just Rory and the baby haunting his mind, but also himself and the decisions and events that led to where they were now.  He asked himself time and time again what in the world possessed him to make the choices he did in regards to his relationship with Rory. Here he was, a respected person in his field, being groomed to take over one of the world's most influential media conglomerates, and yet he was such a mess when it came to his private life. He had become a cliché and that bothered him to no end. Rory was right, it was like being part of a telenovela, although there was no outlandish story line to save them from themselves.

His feeling and thoughts about Rory would go from one extreme to another. Generally, he was still feeling angry with her, and his the memories of her would reflect this. The fight they had in the diner, his confusion when she proposed the “Vegas” agreement, the sadness he would feel when they would say goodbye, how he had to consciously compartmentalize his thoughts and feelings when he was with Odette, and the overall awful feeling he harbored as the result of the constant deception in which he was engaged for the past year.

However, every once in a while good memories would creep in. Waking up in each other’s arms on weekend mornings, engaging in their easy banter as they cooked dinner, taking long afternoon walks, laying around the flat on a rainy day reading. _Yes_ , he would tell himself when feeling reflective, _there were some wonderful moments, but overall our relationship was messed up._

He felt angry. He felt hurt. He felt alone. He felt very lonely.

 And he felt like he was on shaky ground.

The last time he felt this way was when he moved to California. He recalled the emotional pain he endured during those years in Silicon Valley. It wasn’t just that Rory rejected him, but also the fact that for the first time in his life, he was totally on his own. He took a big chance leaving the safe confines of the East Coast. He had no idea whether or not this venture he committed to would succeed.  He was walking a tightrope without a net; no birthright that guaranteed him a job, no family to provide unlimited financial backing, no friends or family to distract him, no fiancée/wife to love and support him. It was just him, and it was scary as hell. So, he put all his energy in what he could control, throwing himself into his work, putting in 12-18 hour days, sometimes spending the night at the office. When he took his focus off of work and gave himself time to have some semblance of a social life, he would go out on thrill seeking adventures; skydiving over the California plains, rock climbing Yosemite, heli-skiing in the Canadian Rockies.

But then things started looking up. His success with his business in California boosted his confidence. There was no better feeling than knowing that he was able to build a life on his own terms. He learned, that if needed, he would be able to walk away from his father, the Huntzberger destiny, and all that was attached to it and be ok.  It was with this knowledge that enabled him to return to the Huntzberger fold without reservation.  He was ready to accept the responsibility and privileges that he was blessed to have.   He had grown, and that made him feel good.    But while his professional life was working well, he still felt disconnected from the personal. While he didn't live like a monk, he wasn't interested in commitment either.

Then he met Odette.

They bonded after being thrown together at a dinner, good naturedly arguing over who was more mischevious in boarding school. A Miata at the bottom of Lake Rutherford was ranked against pictures of half-naked administrators stealing kisses in coat closets. “I went to Catholic school, run by nuns! By extension, I was offending GOD, so that gives me extra points and therefore I win!” Odette definitively stated after about an hour of trying to one-up each other with stories. The declaration made him laugh, really laugh for the first time in years. In her he found a kindred spirit, a connection unlike any he encountered. He admired her independence and her drive to be more than her upbringing. He marveled at the quiet strength in which she carried out her life. He began to rely on her as a partner and confidant. Their relationship brought comfort, safety, and understanding, enabling them to developed a true love for each other. Yet, despite their compatibility, despite their genuine feelings, it wasn’t enough to keep their feeling for others at bay.

 So now he was alone and untethered again, but this time with a baby to complicate matters.

 “Hey, are you there?” Logan, deep in thought again, was brought back to reality by Darby, who as snapping her finger in front of his face, “did you hear what I said?”

 “Sorry Darbs, I zoned out there for a bit. Long week.”

 “Well, again, thank you for coming dear cousin.”

 “My pleasure.” He said hugging Darby, “I can’t believe you made it to 40!”

 “Ha! I know, right?! Neither can I! There were some close calls there. You ok? Did you have fun? You seem preoccupied.”

 “I have a lot on my mind, but celebrating you is a great distraction.”

 Darby leaned into him, whispering, “Are you doing better? I mean since Odette and everything.”

 ‘Yea, yea, I’m good, I’m good.” He mockingly whispered back.

 “Uh huh…well, you know who to call if you need a night on the town to forget. I may be old, but…”

 “You will NEVER be old Darbs.” Logan said with a smile.

With that, they took their leave. Logan rode the elevator down with Honor, Josh, and Claude.   Outside a car was waiting to take Logan home. He instinctively turned to Claude and asked, “Do you have a ride home?”

 “Oh, I was going to take a cab or call a for a ride.” Claude answered.

 “Nonsense. You’re on the way home anyway. Hop in.”

 “Ok, thanks!” Claude said excitedly.

 Logan made sure Claude was in the car before he turned to Honor who had a serious look on her face. “You are just dropping her off and that’s it, right?” it was more of a command than a question.

 “Yes, why are you being so weird about this?”

 “Because I know you and I know her. You are emotionally fragile right now, and she is an extreme empath with a very, very, very soft spot for you. You two together alone is asking for trouble. You know what? We’ll drop her off.”

 “Her neighborhood is in the opposite direction of where you are going. That and traffic would mean adding at least an hour to an already long drive, so no you will not! I promise no extracurricular activities.”

 “Really?”

 “Yes.”

 “Well, ok.”

 Honor kissed her brother goodbye and with a last warning look, got into her car. Logan waved as she and Josh drove away.

 A minute later, Logan and Claude were on their way. During the ride to her apartment in Chelsea, they caught up, updating each other on their jobs, families, gossiping about mutual friends and acquaintances.  Finally, they arrived at Claude’s building. Logan got out of the car and helped Claude out and walked her to the building entrance.

 “Well Claude, it was really good to see you.” Logan said, with a hug.

 “It was great to see you too. The evening doesn’t have to end. Would you like to come up for a drink? Catch-up a bit more? It _has_ been a while…”

 Logan felt a sense of foreboding. He knew what ‘come up for a drink’ could lead to. _It would be nice to go up with her_ , he thought, to find solace in the arms of the familiar. She had been a source of comfort before and she seemed more than willing now. So what would be the harm?

 “Thanks, Claude, but I had a long week and am barely hanging on. I don’t think I would be great company. But hey, let’s have lunch sometime. I’ll get in touch, or you get in touch.”  

 “Oh, ok” the disappointed Claude responded, “well, thanks again for the ride.”

 “Anytime, good night.”

 Claude turned and walked into her building. Once he saw that she was safely inside, Logan got back into the car and went home.


	7. Bargaining: Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Rory meet-up again at her doctor's appointment. Can they work out their issues?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am reposting this chapter with some additions. Much of the dialogue was lifted from my other story, with some tweeking to add Logan's POV. Special guest appearance from Honor, Josh, and their kids!

**Bargaining: Truce**

The second he stepped into the waiting room he immediately felt uncomfortable. There, the lone male, in the busy waiting room of Rory’s OB/GYN. Yes, there were other men there, but they had female partners with them but he, having arrived at the appointment 20 minutes early, was alone. He sat down in a row of empty chairs and started thumbing through a parenting magazine, arriving on an article about baby gear.   He couldn’t believe the things he found. There were the things he knew about (strollers, cribs, car seats), things that he didn’t know about but looked interesting (moby wraps, backpack carriers, bike seats), and then there were the things that just seemed downright weird (diaper wipe warmers, shopping cart covers). He was about to delve into an article of disposable vs. cloth diapers when Rory arrived.

“Hi”, she said rather casually.

“Hello, yourself” Logan replied in a neutral tone.

“Been here long?”

“About 10 minutes. I thought it would bad to be late on the first day", Logan said without looking up from the magazine.

This was the first time since their confrontation at the diner that Logan and Rory have seen each other. Up until this moment, communication was strictly short information only text messages. He spent the previous week nervous about this meeting. Try as he might to put aside his anger over her not telling him about being pregnant in a timely manner, he just couldn’t. Logan realized it wasn’t just about her not telling him right away, but also about his suspicion of her intending not to tell him at all. Nightmare scenarios of him opening his door to an eighteen-year-old kid claiming him as his/her father haunted him. Then there was the disappointment when he realized that she did not feel the same way about him. While he regretted their “Vegas” agreement, he thought that in her heart she too was not 100% behind it either, that in some way she wished there was more. Her not wanting to make a go of it confirmed, she didn’t love him like he loved her.

Rory sat in the seat next to him “What are you looking at?” she asked.

“Baby gear. It’s amazing what it takes to raise a baby these days. You know that there are germ repellent seat covers for shopping carts?”

“Yes, I remember Paris received one after her son was born. She opened it and launched into a 20-minute tirade on the benefits of germs and how our overly clean society is turning Americans into paranoid immune challenged zombie snowflakes. It was a really fun Bris!”

Logan smirked picturing Paris’ tirade. She could be very funny when she didn’t mean to be.

“So are you clear on what is happening today?” Rory asked.

“Yes, you’re having your general check-up, blood work, and an ultrasound.”

“Have you given any thought as to whether or not you want to know the sex of the baby?”

“I’d like to know. I’d like to be prepared. I am kind of through with surprises for a while.”

“I hear ya.”

“And you?”

“I’m still deciding. It will probably be a curtain-time decision.”

“Ok, you’re choice.”

“Logan...”

Rory was interrupted by the nurse calling them in. As soon as they walked in Rory was handed a cup. She then headed to the bathroom while Logan went to the exam room. A minute or two later Rory joined him.

“What happened there?” Logan inquired.

“I have to pee in a cup every exam. Check for preeclampsia. We must escape the fate of Sybil Crawley.” Rory matter-a-factly replied.

Making a note in his head to research preeclampsia, Logan responded, “Yes, that would be good.”

The nurse took Rory’s weight (5 lbs. weight gain) and blood pressure (normal).

“Everything looks good. So just change into your gown and the doctor will be in shortly.” After the nurse left Rory stood there contemplating the hospital gown and looking at Logan with some concern.

“What?” he asked.

“I have to change into this gown,” Rory replied.

“So?”

“Which means I have to take off my clothes.”

“And?”

“Well, you’re here. Can I please have some privacy?”

“Are you serious? Need I remind you that getting naked that got us into this situation in the first place.”

“Our circumstances have changed?” 

“You know what? Fine. Let me know when you’re ready.” Logan left in a huff.

Logan exited the room and stood outside the door feeling a bit self-conscious. He looked up at the walls to see bulletin boards filled with baby announcements. Some were just pictures with the vitals, others with professional photographs and no doubt created by a graphic designer.   He was reading the announcement of Wallace Allen Pitman III when someone came up behind him. “Hello, are you looking for someone?”

“Umm yes, I am just waiting for my girl...I mean the moth…the patient in this room. She is getting dressed.”

“Oh, you’re here with Rory Gilmore?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Dr. Miller, Rory’s OB.”

“Great” Logan said shaking his hand, “Good to meet you. Logan, Logan Huntzberger. I am the father.”

“Good to meet you too. First appointment?”

“Yes, I’m a bit overwhelmed.”

“Well, we will do our best to make things calm.”

Logan got a good vibe from him, which helped him feel better. Dr. Miller knocked on the door and after getting the all clear from Rory,  proceeded in with Logan following.

“Hi Dr. Miller, nice to see you again. I see you’ve met Logan.”

“Yes, we just got acquainted outside. Ok, shall we start?” Replied Dr. Miller.

Dr. Miller proceeded with the exam. They discussed how Rory’s feeling (I finally got my energy back), her diet (my stepfather refuses to serve me french fries and has been pureeing kale in my milkshakes). The three discussed testing and debated amnio vs. Marker Test (Marker Test; less evasive.)

“Any movement?”

“I feel some fluttering now and then.”

Logan felt a twinge of frustration which he could tell Rory noticed.

“Ok, so do you have any questions for me?” Dr. Miller continued.

“Yes,” Logan said, “so when is the due date?”

“July 8th. But remember that is an estimate it can happen before or after the date. This is one of those things one cannot predict.”

“Unless we decide to induce or have a C-section,” Rory interjected. 

Logan started to feel overwhelmed again.

“Have you talked about that?” Dr. Miller responded.

Logan and Rory looked at each other uncomfortably.

“I am open to whatever you want to do, right up to delivery time.” Dr. Miller reassured them.

“So who is permitted to be at the birth? And will you be there?” Logan asked the doctor.

“That depends. We work on rotation here, so if I am not on call or am not available then one of my colleagues will attend the birth. We all have the same approach so I assure you no matter who you get you will have the best of care. As for who is permitted to be in the room well, of course, there will be Rory, the delivery team and me and after that, it depends on you. Some fathers want to be there, others wait outside. Some just want just the parents-to-be, other have invited the whole neighborhood. It’s up to you, just no video cameras please.”

“We still have to discuss the specifics,” Rory said.

“Sure,” said Dr. Miller, “Again, you have plenty of time.”

The exam ended and Logan and the doctor left the room to let Rory dress. Outside Logan said his goodbyes, shaking Dr. Miller’s hand again before he went on to the next patient. Afterward, Rory and Logan proceeded to the ultrasound room. Logan helped Rory onto the exam bed and then sat down. The tension between them was palpable.

“Have you thought about whether you want to be in the room during the delivery?” Rory asked trying to ease the tension.

“Yes, I would like to be there.”

“My mom was planning to be there too. I mean if you don’t mind.”

“Sure, you are, after all, the one who is steering this ship.” Logan said, unintentionally flippant.

Rory became visibly irritated, “What is that suppose to mean?”

“What do you mean?” Logan responded. Now he was irritated.

“You have just been a total pill this entire morning.”

“I just meant that since you are the one who is going to be pushing a brand new human out of your body, that you should have control on who is spectating. That’s all.”

“Okaay.”

“Is there anything else?” He realized he was picking a fight with Rory, but really didn’t care.

“No.”

“So, you’ve been feeling fluttering? You didn’t tell me that.”

“We haven’t exactly been chatty lately.”

“Well, that’s pretty important, you didn’t think to even mention it?”

“Honestly, I didn’t think that is was worth mentioning.”

“Well, I would like to know about things like that.”

“Sorry.”

“Yes, because we know this is all about you, your timeline...”

Rory looked at Logan incredulously, “Are you STILL upset about that? “

Logan, equally incredulous, “Yes! Would you have told me by now if we hadn’t run into each other, or would it have been Lorelai that is here with you right now?”

“Oh my God, you need to let it go!”

“You know you didn’t even apologize for waiting so long.”

Before Rory could respond the ultrasound tech arrived. Rory laid down and pulled up her shirt, revealing the early stages of a baby bump. The tech began the ultrasound.

“Ok...hold on...there!” The tech turned the monitor towards Rory and Logan who bewilderedly looked at the screen as the tech pointed out aspects of the ultrasound; the baby’s head, the torso, the arms, and legs. They saw and heard the heartbeat. At one point the baby turned its head, seemingly looking straight at them.

“So you want to know the sex?”

“No.” they both answered in unison and in awe. They looked at each other surprised. 

“Ah, a couple that likes mystery.”The ultrasound finished. The tech printed copies of the images and handed them to Logan while Rory cleaned up. Rory and Logan thanked the tech and she left the room.

Looking at the print of the ultrasound, Logan was again struck by the reality of their situation. The first image Rory gave him was merely a picture of a large dot.  However, experiencing an ultrasound in real time gave him some perspective.   For the first time in a month, he was able to garner some sympathy and feel empathy for her. He imagined the shock she must have felt when she found out all those weeks ago. Given her situation, the finality of New Hampshire, and his impending marriage, of course she would have been scared and hesitant. The stress must have been awful.   While he wasn’t happy that she waited so long, he knew that she was sincere about wanting him to be involved. At this point in the game, that would have to be enough.

Logan looked at Rory, “Can I buy you lunch?” he asked in a conciliatory tone. Rory looked at him and smiled.

About an hours later, Rory and Logan were sitting in a pub-type place eating burgers, and fries.

“Please don’t tell Luke I ate fries,” Rory playfully pleaded. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he answered smiling. 

“What time do you have to be back to work?”

“I took the day off.”

“Really?”

“Big day Ace.”

After a few seconds of silence, Rory told Logan “I’m sorry.”

“No Rory...”

“No, let me finish. I’m sorry. You were right, I should have told you sooner. It was just such a shock when I found out. It took 20 positive tests over a span of a week until it finally sank in. And then my mom and Luke got married, and then I had to tell my mom, and well that didn’t go well.”

“What do you mean?” Logan couldn’t imagine Lorelai being anything but supportive.

“She has been really and supportive and wonderful, but it was a bit of a shock for her, and she initially didn’t take it well. She not only didn’t take it well, but she was mad at herself for not taking it well, and that became a vicious circle. To her, it was history repeating itself, and she kind of felt like she failed.”

“At what?”

“At being a parent. The one thing a parent does not want it to have their children repeat their mistakes.”

Logan “Yea, but she was 16 with very little options. You are 33, with options and lots of support.”

“Yes, but still, the circumstances...”

“You DO know you have support right?” Logan needs to know.

“Yes, I do. Anyway, this does not excuse me waiting for so long. After our confrontation at the diner, I laid in bed that night with the scenario of you coming home from your honeymoon to the news that I was pregnant playing over and over in my head. Ugh, it was awful. That would have been a stellar way to start a marriage.”

“Well, knowing what we know now, it would seem that a surprise pregnancy resulting from a torrid affair would have been the least of our problems. But, thank you for your apology.”

“Thank you for accepting my apology. So have you told anyone?”

“Honor knows and I assume Josh knows too.”

“How did she take it?”

“At first she was scared because she thought I was talking about Odette. Honor never really bonded with Odette. She always felt there was something not right about her and me.”

“You sister is insightful.”

“She knows me well. Anyway, initially she was scared because she thought I had gotten myself on a "Bridget-Tom-Giselle" triangle. She was highly relieved and excited when she found out it was you.”

“I always liked her.”

“Yes, and she always liked you. She was kind of crushed when we broke up the first time.”

Rory looked away, a bit uncomfortable. She changed the subject, “When are you going to tell your parents?”

“Well, Mitchum is in Dallas this week and gets back tomorrow. Shira is at a spa and gets back the day after. Honor has arranged to have a “family dinner” Friday evening at her house. She figured if we double team them the initial fallout will be minimal.”

“You have a great sister.”

“She’s the best. So Ace, where are we?”

“In a pub eating junk food, hello?”

“No, I mean where are we relationship wise? How are we going about this? I accept that we are not together, I don’t like it, but respect where you are in terms of your life, but we are going to have to function if this co-parenting thing is going to work.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Can I call you? Can we Facetime? Because this only texting all the time leaves a lot to be desired.”

“Yes we can call, Facetime, e-mail, text, send smoke signals.”

“And your appointments are every third Monday?”

“Up until the last month, when they are once a week, and then every other day if we are overdue.”

“And you’re still ok with me being there?”

“Yes, but they are not that long, so it's ok if you don’t make _all_ of them.”

“Well, I will certainly try...”

“Thanks”

“Good. And if you ever need anything, just let me know.”

“Thanks. I will be sure to keep you apprised of flutters or any other news.”

“Good. So what are your plans? Now that Emily’s sold the house where are you going to work?”

“Well, I didn’t tell you, but I started the job at MN Designs. So I will actually be in the city three- four days a week.”

“Really? Congratulations!”

“Thanks! Yes, I’ve been doing this commute for about two weeks now. I’m staying with Paris and Doyle while I’m there.”

“Wait, I heard she was pregnant again and due any day now."

"At the end of January. Doyle is being a bit obsessive this time around so I am kinda acting as a buffer between them."

"Brave girl. And when you’re not in the city you’re staying with your mom and Luke?”

“No, I found an apartment! I am living in the space above _The Gazette_. It’s a great place. Good vibe. I’m glad to be in my own space. You should see it sometime.”

“I will make sure of it. So how is the book?”

“Good! I’ve written about 10 chapters. I’m feeling a bit blocked. Jess is seeing if he can get an editor friend to review it.”

“Jess?”

“Luke’s nephew, he was with me at Olivia’s reception? He’s is part owner of a press...”

“Yes, I remember Jess.” _Remember how I wanted to punch his light out_ , Logan thought.

“Oh, yes...well anyway, He’s also been talking to me about how to pitch the book. Hopefully, it will get picked up.”

“Well you know you have an “in” in the business”

“Yes, but I would rather use the channels I already have first.”

“Fair enough Ace. I’m sure it will be great. You’re a great writer.”

“Thanks for being my cheerleader.”

“Anytime! So, let’s toast.”They both picked up their respective glasses of lemonade.

“Truce?”

“Truce.”

“To cooperation, co-parenting, and little baby Huntzberger.”

“Gilmore.”

“Gilmore-Huntzberger”

“Sounds good to me.”

They clinked their glasses. Next Logan took the ultrasound images out of this pocket and the two soon-to-be parents spent the next hour admiring the images of their baby.

 

Later that evening, Logan found himself again at Honor’s house. After dinner with her family and putting the kids to bed (“We want Uncle Logan to read us a story!”) Logan, Honor, and Josh sat down to talk. Logan showed them the picture of the ultrasound.

“Wow”, Josh said as he passed the picture back to Logan, “this is real.”

“As real as it gets” Logan responded.

“So, boy or girl?” Honor inquired rather excitedly.

“We don’t know. We decided to be surprised.”

“Well, I want to know. Can I see the picture again?”

Logan handed the image to Honor. She and Josh studied the picture, turning it upside down and around. Their exchange during their analysis of the ultrasound made Logan grin; they were so an old married couple.

“Ha! There! I know!” Honor said waving the image in the air victoriously.

“DON’T tell me!” Logan warned.

“I won’t.” she said with a sly smile.

“So what next?” Josh asked.

“Well, we now have to inform _them,_ right?” Honor stated.

“Yes, are we all set for dinner?” Logan asked.

“Yes, Friday evening at six. Let’s just hope they don’t cancel.” Josh said.

“Oh, they won’t. I had Theo and Charlotte invite them personally. You know that they won’t disappoint them.” Honor assured them.

“Isn’t it funny that they never gave us the time of day when we were young, but drop everything for your kids?” Logan asked.

“The prerogative of grandparents.” Honor replied.

“How do you think they will take it?” Josh asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

“Oh, you know, with great fanfare and celebration,” Logan said sarcastically.

“It will be fine.” Honor said, “They’ll have to accept it, they have no choice.”

“Yes, but it will not be pleasant,” added Logan

“Well, yea, of course it won’t! But you’ve done worse and gotten through it.”

“Ok, we’ll just get it over with and move on.”

“Don’t stress Logan,” Honor assured him, “it will be ok.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Bargaining: Parents' Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan tells his parents about his impending fatherhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some insight into the state of Logan's relationship with his parents.

**Bargaining: Parents’ Day**

 

Logan arrived at Honor’s house early. He hung out with his niece and nephew, Charlotte and Theo, while Josh and Honor cooked dinner (really while Josh cooked dinner and Honor assisted.) Logan brought dessert, four bottles of wine, and a bottle of scotch. It was overkill, but he wanted to make sure. The plan was to lower their parents' defenses by plying them with rich food, glasses of alcohol, and lots of grandchild cuteness. Then Josh would take the kids and slip away for the night at his parents’ house while Honor and Logan dealt with their parents.

Logan’s relationship with his parents had evolved since his college days. While he would not describe their relationship as close or even warm, it had become more respectful. His success with his business in California had much to do with it as it gave Logan the knowledge and confidence that he could make it on his own. Ironically, it was this new found self-sufficiency that allowed him to embrace his birthright. Knowing that he could make choices in his life was very empowering. No longer was he at the mercy of some unwritten obligation.  No longer was he merely reacting to all that there is to be a Huntzberger, but making deliberate choices in what kind of  _person_  he wanted to be.  If his job or situation with his father got too heated, if pressure from his mother became too weighty, he knew he could simply walk away and be ok.  This knowledge on both their parts equaled the playing field, creating a new understanding of the limited influence Mitchum and Shira now had in Logan's life.  

Still, there was that pull, the sense of obligation and duty to keep up with certain family mores. Be it pride, guilt, or maybe a certain need to please, there was a game one had to play in being a Huntzberger. The pull between family and self was not an uncommon dilemma, and Logan was no exception to this phenomena, so he picked his battles.   He couldn’t deny that family loyalty played a role in his decision to continue his engagement with Odette despite his love for and affair with Rory. A commitment was made, and one must always honor their commitments. Invitations were sent, RSVPs were returned, lots of time, energy, and emotion spent on not only the day but the future it represented. Moreover, Odette was in many ways a “proper” match. Even though she spent her life fighting it tooth and nail, she too was one of “them”.   When it came to family matters and that of the public face, Logan and Odette shared an unspoken understanding, and in many ways that made life easier. The daughter of high finance and old Parisian money, combined with her high-profile charity work, and physical beauty made them the quintessential high society power couple, a concept that the Huntzbergers (at least those of the older generation) embraced wholeheartedly.   The “Dynastic Plan” was so much more than their over-the-top wedding, but also the perpetuation of the ideals and image that was both their families. While it seemed archaic and medieval, nevertheless, the pressure to maintain that norm was very real.

But in the end, the heart won, shattering "The Plan”. Logan and Odette followed their hearts, cracking the façade of nobility that many in their families so cherished. His mother, having not only poured so much energy into the wedding itself, but also looking forward to building influence on the high society in Paris, was devastated when it was canceled. His father, on the other hand, was not so upset (at least on the surface as Mitchum always played it cool.) The only comment he made since the ending of the engagement was sarcastic remark during a meeting,  “...Yes, well being able to make that goal will be hard, given the people we with whom we have to negotiate.  it’s a shame, that we no longer have strong allies in the French media market.”   So now Logan was delivering another blow to that noble façade. While in his younger more reckless days he would derive some pleasure from doing so, now, given the tenuous state of his relationship with Rory, the task was daunting.  

Sitting down in Honor’s living room, Logan offered his parents an after dinner drink. It was during this time that Josh took the kids and quietly slipped away to his parents’ house. It didn’t take long for Mitchum and Shira to notice.

 “Where are the kids?” Mitchum asked, “Theo asked me to read to him at bedtime.”

 

 "Oh dad”, Honor said nonchalantly, “I forgot to tell you, they’re having a special night at Josh’s parent’s house.”

 

 Mitchum and Shira looked at each other and then their children.

 

 “Ok, what’s going on? Are one of you sick?” Mitchum asked.

 

 “Why would you ask that?” Logan responded.

 

 “Because we are  _here,_  having a  _family_  dinner.” Shira said, “We never have family dinners here. We always have them at our house and we have drag you kicking and screaming to attend them.”

 

 “No that’s not true,” Logan said defiantly.

 

 “Yes it is Logan, don’t try to deny it.” Shira replied in her signature condescending sing-song voice, “So please, the suspense is killing me, tell us what’s going on.”

 

 Honor and Logan looked at each other. She gave him an “it’s now or never” look. Logan proceeded.

 

 “Well, there are some things I need to tell you regarding my break-up with Odette.” Logan began.

 

 “You mean other than the fact that the little trollop left you for someone else?” Shira asked.

 

 “Yes mother, and please don’t call Odette that,” Logan responded very annoyed.

 

 “What is this insight you have to tell us?” Mitchum asked.

 

 “Odette wasn’t the only one having an affair. I was having one too. For longer than her.” Logan said.

 

 “You were?!?! For how long Logan?” Shira asked.

 

 “Pretty much for the length of our engagement,” Logan responded.

 

 “Well, then it’s good that you didn’t get married,” Mitchum said.

 

 “Yes, it was. However, there is more. The woman with whom I had the affair is about 16 weeks pregnant, and yes I am the father.”

 

 Mitchum and Shira sat quietly obviously dumbfounded.

 

 “Are you sure the baby is yours?” Mitchum asked.

 

Not surprised at this line of questioning Loan responded, “Yes I am.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Because she said so. She would not lie about this.”

 

Mitchum smirked, “You believe her?”

 

“Like I said,” Logan responded very annoyed, “she would not lie.”

 

“Who is she, Logan?” Shira asked sharply.

 

Logan took a deep breath, “Rory Gilmore.”

 

Mitchum and Shira were, again, dumbfounded.

 

“Richard and Emily’s granddaughter? The girl you were dating in college Rory Gilmore?” Shira inquired.

 

“Yes, the very one,” Logan responded mater-a-factly.

 

“So that lunch I interrupted last summer in London. That wasn’t ‘just lunch’.” Mitchum asked.

 

“Nope, we had been together for several months at that point,” Logan replied

 

“So what does she want Logan?” Mitchum asked

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“What I asked, what does she want? Does she expect you to get married now? Does she expect you to take care of her financially? What does she want?”

 

“She wants nothing, ok? She was prepared to go this alone from the beginning. She told me about it because it was the right thing to do, but there has been no pressure for me to do anything.”

 

“For now,” Shira said sarcastically.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“This is what she says now. She will change her mind, Logan.” Shira said condescendingly, “There is too much at stake with this family for her to pass up an opportunity like this.”

 

“No mom, she is not like that. Anyway, she doesn’t exactly come from a poor family. She can do this on her own.”

 

“A baby changes everything Logan. After she realizes what we can offer her, she will want more.” Shira said

 

“Well, you don’t know Rory.” Logan retorted back.

 

“So what are  _you_  going to do?” Mitchum asked.

 

“What do you think I’m going to do?"  Logan answered incredulously, "I’m going to be a father. I am going to be involved and raise this child like any other father should.”

 

“So this means that you and Rory are getting married?” Shira asked cautiously.

 

“No mother, we are not getting married. We have agreed that we will raise the child together. How this will happen we in the process of working out."

 

Both Shira and Mitchum let out exasperated sighs.

 

“This will not end well Logan. A child needs a stable environment. How is this suppose to happen with a split household?” Shira opined.

 

“Stability is what you make it,” Logan responded.

 

“You know, maybe this is for the best,” Mitchum said surprising everyone in the room.   He was now in problem-solving mode, “No marriage means no other entanglements. We just have to work out an iron-clad custody and support agreement. First thing Monday we should get recommendations on a family lawyer…”

 

“Dad, STOP!”

 

Mitchum looked taken aback.

 

“Mom and dad, I will say this only once so I implore you to  _hear_  me and hear me well. I only informed you of this situation out of courtesy and respect because you are my parents. I, however, did not tell you to seek any help or approval. I thank you for your concern and hope that you will give us your unconditional emotional support.   However, in the end, this is  _my_  situation,  _my_  doing,  _my kid_. Any decisions regarding this child are strictly between Rory and me and no one else.  If we need your help we will ask for it, but until then, I respectfully ask you to butt out.”

 

And then suddenly the room was quiet, with only the buzz my Logan tirade floating in the air.

 

“Fine Logan, if that’s the way you want it. We will, as you say, ‘butt out’. I will say that I don’t feel comfortable with this situation.” Shira said.

 

“You are entitled to feel as you need to feel. I assure you we have everything under control.”

 

“Well, “ Mitchum said, “I guess we’ll have to trust that you do.”

 

 

Later, after their parents left, Logan and Honor discussed the evening while loading the dishwasher.

 

“Well, that went well.” Honor said.

 

“You think so?” Logan replied.

 

‘Yes! You certainly put them in their place."  Honor imitated Logan, " '...I implore you to hear me and hear me well!'   Yikes!"

 

'What am I if not dramatic?"

 

"You know, they are probably formulating their own plan as we speak.”

 

‘Well, they wouldn’t be our parents if they didn’t now would they?”

 

“I guess not.  So, feel better?”

 

“No, not in the least.   I mean it’s good that we got informing Mitchum and Shira out of the way, but that doesn’t take away the fact that this situation is not ideal.”

 

“So what would be your ideal?”

 

“For Rory and me be together and to raise this kid in a real family.”

 

‘Wow, after all this time, after all you’ve gone through, you’re still in love with her.”

 

“Yes, sad isn’t it?”

 

“Yes, and a bit endearing too. So what now?”

 

“I guess now I have to wait it out.”

 

“Ick, waiting sucks!’

 

“It certainly does.”

 

Logan’s phone beeped indicating a text from Rory.

 

 _Hey, how did it go? s_ he texted

_As well as can be expected. They were upset, no surprise there. No bloodshed, so in the_ _end_ _all is well._ Logan replied

_Sorry to hear that_

_No Ace, really it’s fine. They’ll deal_

_Ok_

_How are you?_

_Oh, good. I think I am feeling some fluttering. Either that or it’s the steak, egg, avocado, and brown rice covered in gravy burrito that Ceasar made me for dinner._

_Dear Lord Ace!_

_And I washed it down with a mint shake that I swear had zucchini and kale puree_

_Well at least SOMEONE is looking out for you nutritionally. Dare I ask what you had for dessert?_

_An apple_

_Dipped in caramel? Sprinkled with chocolate chips?_

_No, just a plain ‘ole apple._

_I don’t believe you!_

 

_It's true!_

 

_Any particular variety?_

_Macintosh._

_Steve Jobs is applauding from Heaven._

_LOL!_

_I have to get back to cleaning the kitchen_

_How domesticated of you_

_Well, the price you pay for a free meal_

_Ok_

_So, will you be in the city next week? Want to meet for lunch?_

_Yes! Tuesday- Thursday. Pick a day, I have no appointments._

_Great, I’ll text you after I check my schedule._

_Cool. Good night Logan_

 

_Good night, Ace_


	9. Bargaining:  The New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is surprised by a certain fun-loving trio. Logan surprises them back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was torture, but I got it done. I will probably tweak it a bunch of times in the coming week.
> 
> The song featured in this chapter was inspired by Michael Jeter's performance in The Fisher King:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmfGLfWqlzA
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Bargaining: The New Normal**

 

Rory and Logan met for lunch the next week, and then for lunch again two days later. The week after they met for lunch twice and coffee on the day they did not have lunch. The week after that, lunch once and dinner the next day. After week three it became an unspoken arrangement that they would meet for a meal at least twice a week, with the occasional extra lunch, dinner, coffee, walk or other activity as time permitted.

 

Logan continued to accompany Rory to her appointments, however short they were.   He learned more about pregnancy, labor and delivery, and the workings of the female reproductive system than he ever thought he wanted to know. He had a brief freak out when it came to the genetic testing and was on pins and needles for two days until Rory texted him the results saying that everything was all clear. He started reading parenting books, humorous dad memoirs and even picked up a guide to baby sign language.

 

All in all, Rory and Logan settled into a comfortable routine. They fell back into the familiar rapport that they developed between them all those years ago, going about their business as if there was no break in their time together, with one glaring exception; they never talked about their relationship. Yes, they talked about parenting matters; what kind of life they pictured for their kid, schools, nannies, formula vs. breastmilk, cloth vs. disposable diapers, but as far as them getting back together, the subject was never broached. As much as Logan wanted to talk about it, make some grand gesture to show Rory how he felt, he knew that he needed to hold back. Rory was in not in the frame of mind to deal with those questions and trying to address them would only push her away.

 

So Logan soldiered on, coping with the Rory situation by doing his best to live in the present. He went out with friends, networked with business associates, and attended events. On those occasions where he was required to bring dates, he would usually ask a business associate to “tag along” or invite his cousin Darby. There were those awkward moments where invites were misinterpreted by those he took out, ending with disappointed thank you and chaste kisses on the cheek at the end of the night.

 

It was a Friday afternoon. Logan had an appointment with a Mr. Leonard Durham-Barrons, who according to his calendar, was a representative from a small publishing house in Maine. Logan had no idea who he was nor had he ever heard of the publishing house.  All the knew was that they were to meet in the conference room one floor below.

 

Logan arrived early to his meeting, sitting at the large conference table with his laptop, answering e-mails when Hope, his assistant came in. “Logan, Mr. Durham-Barrons just arrived. He asked me to tell will be here in about five minutes.”

 

Logan acknowledged and thanked Hope and went back to his e-mails. He was about to press “send” when Mr. Durham-Barrons walked in. “Logan Huntzberger, hello, I’m Leonard Durham-Barrons” the gentleman stated.   Logan looked up to see a man dressed in a heavy coat and hat, carrying a large messenger bag.   Logan stood up to shake the man’s hand, inviting him to sit down.

 

“It’s nice to meet you. Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? Tea?”

 

“Well, there is one thing,” he said.  Logan watch in shock as Mr. Durham-Barrons he ripped off his coat, revealing that he was wearing a short tiered bright orange gown, and put on a feather hat. He ran up to Logan and put a giant pink pirate hat decorated with bright colored feathers on his head and a bright green feather boa around his neck and then pushed him down on his chair.   He then ran back to the front of the conference room and started performing.

 

_I had a dreeeeaaaaam, a dream of guess who, Logaaaaan._

_It’s all because of youuuuuuuu, Logaaaaan_

_Because it’s your birthday, Logaaaaan_

At this point, Mr. Durham-Barrow jumped up on the conference room table and continued, adding some choreography to his performance.

_Some people would think it’s fun,_

_To spend their birthday one-on-one_

_But not for you Logan dear_

_We’re all going to celebrate another yeeeeaaarrrr_

 

_For you we planned a grand celebration_

_one that will bring just jubilation_

_the type that will captivate a nation_

_to celebrate your 35th station_

_For everything’s coming up Logaaaaannnn!!!!_

_Celebrating his birthday!!!!!_

_Happy Birthdday to YOUUUU!!_

_TO YOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!_

 

Over his shock and thoroughly amused Logan got up to give Mr. Durham-Barrow a standing ovation. Around him, he heard thunderous applause realizing that he was not alone. He turned beet red when he noticed that everyone on the floor was standing outside of the conference room witnessing and videoing this display. _Oh God_ , he thought, _I’m going to be on YouTube_. Among the spectators, he noticed three in particular, who he no doubt arranged for this show.

 

Colin, Finn, and Robert.

 

Logan had not seen the three of them since they dropped him off at the airport after their New Hampshire adventure last October. Work, schedules, general “adulting” kept them from getting together as often as they liked.

 

While college friendships have the tendency to lose their momentum after they leave the safe confines of campus, the friendship between Logan, Colin, Finn, and Robert endured. Although Logan often gave them a hard time, he was happy to see them and grateful for their enduring support. During his time in California, they came out frequently to share in the adventures, they were supportive when Logan proposed to Odette and also when they broke up. They were 100% behind and even helped plan that outing that culminated at the B&B in New Hampshire. They were great friends through and through.

 

It amazed Logan that while they all graduated, “matured”, and moved on to take on more responsible tasks that they still maintained their sense of fun and adventure. Colin, who Logan has known practically his whole life, like him went into the family business, becoming going the executive track in the insurance business. Robert went on to grad school at the London School of Economics and was now spending his time at an economics think tank in DC. Finn, in Logan’s opinion, got the best deal. Finn’s family owned an outdoor gear company based out of Australia. On the days he was not out hawking his wares he was testing them “for marketing and training purposes”.  

 

“Happy Birthday mate!” Finn said slapping him on the back good-naturedly.

 

“35-years-old, that much closer to collecting social security.” Colin quipped.

 

“35 but still have your boyish good-looks. What is your beauty secret?” Robert added.

 

“You know my birthday was two weeks ago, right? “ Logan replied

 

“Yes, but with Finn in town, we had to find some reason to drink; your birthday just came in handy.” Colin “confessed”.

 

“So, what’s on the agenda boys? What are the plans?” Logan asked, realizing that he needed a mindless night out.

 

Finn replied, “Go home and pack. Bring your winter gear and your passport.”

 

 

Two hours they were in a private plane, making their way to Quebec. A “working holiday” as Finn’s family business was contemplating investing in a Canadian outfitter who specialized in among other things, dog sledding, winter camping, winter sports, and wilderness survival. Finn had arranged for a weekend adventure for the four of them to “evaluate” the value of the investment.

 

They landed in Quebec City, and after quickly clearing customs and immigration, were whisked off about an hour from the airport where they arrived at their destination. After about an hour meeting with Finn’s potential partners and some time getting the boys acquainted with procedure and safety measures, they were off on their dog sledding adventure. One and a half hours and about 20 miles later they reached a lake that had yurts set up for their overnight accommodations. That night they drank scotch and played poker.  The next day they hiked a ¼ of a mile to a waterfall where they spent the mid-morning to afternoon trying their hand at ice canyoning. Three hours later, they packed up their gear and sledded back to the home base and comfortable lodge accommodations. Exhausted from the activities of the 24+ hours, the four of them got settled and slept the afternoon away.

That evening they gathered in the Lodge’s dining room for a late dinner. Steaks all around and fine wine, Logan was happy to have such a great birthday celebration.

 

“God, we are getting old. In our 20's all that activity would have been a warm up, but we sleep the afternoon away.” Colin complained.

 

“So what do you propose we do? Pile in a car and go clubbing in Quebec and hang out with 19-year-olds? Robert asked.

 

“19-year-olds? That sounds splendid.” Finn responded.

 

Logan continued eating, shaking his head.

 

“So gentleman, how about this for a summer outing? A surfing week off the coast of  Peru? We have some new boards we need to test? You free?”

 

“When would this be?” Logan asked.

 

“July.”

 

“Yea, I can’t make that.”

 

“It’s February and you already have plans for the summer?”

 

“Yes, I do.”

 

“What? Will you be washing your hair? Does the Dark Lord already have your summer planned? What could possibly be better that a week goofing off in Peru?”

 

“Well, my kid is due the first week of July.”

 

The three of them stared at Logan, gobsmacked.

 

“I’m sorry,” Colin said, “but _WHAT_?!?!”

 

“I’m going to be a dad,” Logan responded

 

“Sweet Jesus, Odette is pregnant?” Finn asked

 

“No, it’s not Odette.”

 

The three of them were silent, obviously doing the math in their heads.

 

“Nooo,” Robert said, “Rory?”

 

“Yep, Rory’s pregnant.”

 

“So what’s going to happen? Are you guys getting married?”

 

“Nope!”

 

“What? You don’t want to?”

 

“Rory doesn’t want to.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Finn responded, obviously surprised, “You mean after all that sneaking around, all that you went through, she didn’t want a serious relationship after all?”

 

“It seems that way.”

 

“Wow, it’s usually the guy who pulls that crap.”

 

Logan offered further explanation, “Rory feels that her being pregnant should not be the reason why we get together. She is in full-on work and becoming a mother mode, and not in relationship mode. She is willing to deal with me in terms raising the kid, but us becoming a couple she won’t talk about it.”  

 

“Well, that sucks.”

 

“It certainly does.”

 

“So what are you going to do?” Robert asked

 

“What can I do? Just let things go where they may. Rory and I see each other fairly often, so it’s not like there isn’t a chance. For now, I am managing my expectations and taking it one day at a time.”

 

Colin looked at Logan, “Goddamit if that isn’t just what a mature father-to-be would say!”

 

“How are we only hearing about this now? What afraid to scare off your friends?” Finn asked.

 

“Hey, it’s not like I have known for long. I found out in late December, 10 weeks after the fact.   It got pretty ugly when she told me;  I was really pissed at her for waiting so long to tell me.  After that, save short text messages, Rory and I weren’t speaking. But we worked it out and we see and talk on a regular basis.  It's not ideal,  but it’s a start.”

 

“Yes, it certainly is.”

 

“Well, then a toast” Colin interjected raising his glass, “To the birthday boy and father-to-be. Congrats on both counts. Better you than us.”

 

Logan smirked at his friend’s backhanded compliment.

 

“Thank you, thank you so much for your support.”


	10. Bargaining: Circle Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Chris have a talk about the perils of unrequited love and surprise fatherhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another killer chapter. My Logan Muse seems to be on Spring Break or still in an Easter candy sugar coma.

** Bargaining: Circle Breaking **

 

Logan woke up to the sound of his phone ringing.  He looked at his clock; 7:15 pm.  Crap he was running late.

Of course, this was the week for all hell to break loose.Issues with the Shanghai office had him up on conference calls all night.   He finally went to bed at 6 am only to have him up again at 8  for a morning of meetings.  He was finally able to leave the office at 2 pm where he went home and immediately fell asleep. He stayed that way until the phone awakened him, with the doorperson telling him that his guests were on their way up.   A minute later, Logan opened the door to Colin and Finn.“Good morning darling no need to get ready for me.” Finn greeted.  “Sorry was up late and slept all day I'll be ready in a few…”Logan replied.“No need to rush.” Colin assured him, “we'll justhelp ourselves to.... whatever…”

Logan raced to get ready, psyching himself up for the evening ahead.Tomorrow Finn was booked on the 7pm flight back to Sydney and his final night happened to coincide with a show Hep Alien was playing at the legendary Bitter End Club.Rory had been talking about this show for weeks.  She was so excited that after years of hard work her best friend, Lane, was finally getting recognition in the music business.  While they were not filling stadiums or earning gold records, they were developing a rather loyal following and was sought after for collaborations. 

Logan was happy and encouraged when Rory invited him to their show.  However, that feeling quickly dissipated when he learned who else was attending. Basically, the majority of her family were planning to be there,including her mother, stepfather,and father.  Logan had not interacted with them since Rory’s graduation, and then, after all these years, to reappear in their lives by getting their daughter pregnant while engaged to another woman,  probably did not make him their most favorite person.  While he was able to handle his parents, he knew it would be harder with Rory’s parents, especially with her mother.With his own parents, dealing with them was fairly manageable.  They were his parents after all and so he had a lifetime's worth of experience in handling their emotions about his life.  Rory’s parents were different.  Unlike Mitchum and Shira, he actually liked Chris, Luke, and Lorelai.Although he had a very rocky start with Lorelai, they were able to arrive at an understanding and even gave her approval for him to propose marriage to Rory. Now matters have changed.  Their respect was important to him and he needed to earn it back.  Logan spent the week preparing for the for the wrath that would come from them.He was willing to take it, as he had to face them sometime, and him not coming to the show would disappoint Rory, and he didn’t want to do that. 

Logan got dressed and the three of them set off to the show, arriving about ten minutes before the start.Logan was grateful for Colin and Finn’s presence as they served as s support and buffer for the evening.  They walked into the room to see Rory settled in the center of the club with her group.  Logan recognized Moses and Olivia, Rory's boss, and friends from Yale.  He saw Sookie and Jackson, Lorelai's best friends, and also spotted April with a group of people who he assumed were friends from Boston.Then there was Lorelai talking with Chris, and Luke talking with Jess.  _I hate that guy_ Logan thought to himself.

 Logan smiled as Rory bounded towards them “You're here!"  She exclaimed excitedly, hugging both Colin and Finn who could not hide their shock over seeing  her burgeoning belly, “so it _IS_ true!” Colin implored.  “No Colin” Rory shot back, “this is a cosmetic bump, the kind they use in tv shows.  This was all an elaborate joke on you.  I think it worked!”She said winking at Logan.

 “Well Darling,”Finn interjected, “it time to let everyone know the baby is really mine.  Shall we now runaway love?”

 "Sure, but after the show,” Rory replied with a bit of good-natured sarcasm.  

 Rory brought everyone down to the group where she introduced and reintroduced the boys to the Starts Hallow crowd.  Everyone was pleasant enough.Logan could tell that Luke and Chris we're making great efforts to be friendly.  Lorelai,on the other hand, was quite reserved; friendly and respectful but reserved.

 The show went off without a hitch.  It was a great set, with the band doing three encores.Afterward, everyone gathered at a pub a couple of blocks away.It was a place that was frequented by HG employees and therefore familiar territory to Logan, who revealed once they arrived that he bought out the place for the night for an after-party.Upon hearing the news, Rory gave Logan a knowing smile. 

 “So Rory,”Colin asked once everyone got settled, “who are all theses people?” 

 “Mostly friends from Stars Hallow,”

 “And when are you going to introduce me to your friend the drummer?”

 “I can right now.Would you like to meet her husband too?He’s one of the guitarists. Oh, and look.”Rory took out her phone, “these are their twin boys, Kwan and Steve.”

 “How about the girl with the curly hair and glasses?”

 “My 23-year-old step-sister April?Sure although the woman who is sitting next to her is her girlfriend Selah.”

 “What about that woman over there?”

 “You mean my MOTHER?Sorry she’s married too”

 “Crap, why are all the hot women married or gay?”

 Rory and Logan laughed.Poor Colin…

 

The evening settled in, and everyone mixed and mingled well.Logan found himself sitting at a table with Colin, Finn, and Christopher, swapping boarding/prep school war stories.At one point Logan looked up to see Rory standing by herself surveying the scene and then walking over to the dance floor to join Lorelai, April and April’s friends.He smiled at what a terrible dancer she was.Logan all of a sudden felt slightly uncomfortable and looked to over to see Christopher watching him as he watched his daughter.Christopher had strange look on his face, one that Logan could not decipher, which made him feel awkward.He stood up to break the tension,“Well, I’m going to get another drink.Does anyone want anything?Chris, they carry that brand of scotch that I was telling you about.”Chris passed and, surprisingly, so did Colin and Finn.Logan excused himself and headed towards the bar.As he was about to order, Lane and the rest of the band walked up to him.

“Logan, thank you,” Lane said to him with a hug, “This is amazing.” 

“Yea man, thanks, I can’t think of a more perfect night,” added Zach. 

“No need to thank me, this is my pleasure”, replied Logan, “I'm just happy to say that 'I knew you when'.” 

“Yes, it’s a really nice set up here, really nice, a good time for everyone.” Logan heard as Lane and Zach departed to take a picture with some fans. 

Logan turned to find Jess standing behind him “Yes, and are you having a good time?” Logan guardedly responded. 

“Oh yes, the best. So I didn’t know that you knew the band that well. When did you become best friends?” 

“Well, were not best friends, but Lane is Rory’s oldest friend and the Godmother to her boys so in a way that makes her family.” 

“Wow, so generous of you to do this for family-like people.”

“Well, she and Zach have been a great support to Rory, and well I am grateful for their help.” 

“So you need help with Rory? “ 

“I’m just saying that since I am not there all the time, it’s nice to know that she has support.” 

“Oh, yes, because she needs to be supervised.” 

“I didn’t say that now did I?” 

“No that’s not what you _said_. If there is anyone who can make it on her own is Rory, she can take care of herself.” 

“I _know_ that she can take care of herself. We were together for a long time, even lived together, so I am very _well aware_ of Rory. In fact, I can say that I know her in ways other people wouldn’t understand.” 

“Really now?”   


“Really.”   


Suddenly, Christopher, Lorelai, and Luke showed up at their side.   


“Hey, guys what’s going on?” Lorelei asks.   


“Just having a friendly conversation,” Jess responded without taking his eyes off of Logan. 

“Getting reacquainted,” Logan added, matching Jess’ tone and manner. 

“That’s great.” Christopher interjected, “Hey Logan,” Christopher continued while looking at Luke and Lorelai meaningfully, “What is that brand scotch you were telling me about? Join me for one?”

  
“Sure,” Logan said. Christopher put his hand on Logan’s shoulder and led him away, finding a quiet table in the corner where Chris sat Logan down.A minute later he showed up with a glass of scotch and a glass of water.He handed Logan the water.“So, would you like to talk about that little incident there?”Chris asked in a rather paternal voice.

“I hate that guy,”Logan said.

“Jess?Yea, he’s not my favorite person either.”Chris replied.

“Really?”Logan said, happily surprised.

“He and Rory got into a car accident when they were in high school.He was driving and she ended up with a totaled car and a fractured her wrist.Thank God it was minor, but I still can’t quite get over it.He always has a black mark in my book.” 

“And what about me?How many marks do I have?”

“About a half a mark.”

“Only half?That’s pretty good.So what have I done to merit only half?I thought my pages would be all black.”

“Well, yes you _both_ are not in the best situation, but you are doing your part so therefore I can’t hate you,” Chris said raising his glass.

“I would do anything for her.”

“You mean like break off an engagement and NOT have an affair with her?”

Logan went quiet.No matter how much he rehearsed this moment in his mind, he had no comeback for his statement. 

“Logan,”Christopher said after a minute or two of silence, “You can relax.You are the father of my grandchild.I am not going to do the whole “shotgun” thing.Although, I will admit, when I heard the news, I did consider going after you with a baseball bat.”

“Thank you, and I don’t blame you for considering it."

"Well, I am not going to repeat the same mistakes my father did when I was in this situation.  You both have my full support in this matter."

" I appreciate that.  Does it help that I love her and want to be with her?”

“Do you now?” 

“Yes.You sound skeptical.”

“Well, given the events and circumstance that led to this pregnancy, can you blame me? Again, if you loved her so much, then why did you sneak around? Why the affair?”

“I was ready to give it all up for her, but she didn’t seem like she was receptive to that.Did she tell you about our “Vegas” agreement?I should have just left it alone, but I couldn’t, I just couldn’t.”

“Ah yes, I understand.You are not the first to succumb to the charms of a Gilmore girl.You poor sad sack…”

The comment made Logan smile.

“Just one question, “ Chris continued, “are you really sure what you are feeling for my daughter is love and not masked obligation?”

“What do you mean?Of course, I am.”

“Really?Are you sure that you are in love with _her_ , the _real_ her, and not some idealized version of her that you built in your head?”

Logan again was silent.

“Look, I like you, Logan, you’re a good guy.Nothing would make me happier than for you and Rory to find your way and become a real solid family.However, I was you at one point in time.I too loved the mother of my child.I spent countless hours thinking about our future together, and you know what happened?Our marriage, when it did finally happen,  didn’t even last a year.Why?Because I loved the idealized Lorelai, not the real Lorelai.I looked up and she was not the person I fell in love with anymore.She moved on.I, on the other hand, spent many good years unable to get close to anyone because I always had the Lorelai option floating in my head; it's no wonder my relationship with Sherry fell apart.  So tell me, Logan, are you not taking chances with other women because of your hope for Rory?lWere your feelings for your ex-fiancee real or were you just setting the relationship up to fail because you always had Rory in the back of your mind?”

“I really love Rory.”

"Yes, you really show it,"  Chris said, looking around.

"You think buying out the bar was overboard."

"A tad.  I understand the big gestures but subtly works also.  It's the little things that really count."

The two sat in awkward silence and then Chris chimed in.

“What if she doesn’t love you back?”

“I try not to think about it.”

“Oh. but you must.You have a child to think about.You know what one of my biggest mistakes was?Tethering my feeling for Lorelai with my actions with Rory.When I saw the future, I saw the whole package.Never once did I consider just Roy and me.Perhaps things would have been better if I did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that Rory and the baby, while a nice package, are not the only options.I intertwined my relationship with Lorelai with Rory, which I realize now was a bad idea.Rory was her own separate entity and I didn’t work on our relationship as father and daughter until much later.It wasn’t until after I had Gigi full-time that I realized just how fractured my relationship with Rory really was…”

“So what are you saying, Chris?”

“I’m saying this.Don’t get so wrapped up in trying to get your relationship with Rory on-track that you lose sight of your child.What happens if Rory does not reciprocate your feelings?Will you be able to live with that?Will you be able to move on?Would you be able to not let that affect how you feel about and treat your child?You and I are a lot alike Logan.We both grew up in similar families, we both had unreasonable expectation put upon us, and you, like me, are having a child without being married.However, you don’t have to be the kind of father I was or your father was, but to do that you have to put your kid first, not Rory.Yes, parent together the best you can, but don’t wrap your hoped and dreams around her. Your kid is the sure thing.Bet on the kid, not on Rory.”

Again, Logan was silent.

“Am I making any sense here?”Christopher asked.

‘Yes, Chris.Yes, you are.Thank you for telling me this.You've given me a lot to think about.


	11. Bargaining: Trust Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan has to do damage control after he learns about Mitchum and Shira's lunch with Emily, Francine, and Lorelai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration strikes at the most inopportune moments, but at least I wrote the chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy! Thank you in advance for your comments.

**Trust Issues**

 

Logan could not help but be amused at the crowd. With all the screaming and enthusiasm one might have thought that they were attending a game seven NBA championship game or the NCAA final. The fact was, they were at the last game of his nephew Theo’s first grade basketball season.  Having moved back to the states, Logan vowed to take his role as “Uncle Logan” more seriously. He made it a point to attend as many as his niece and nephew’s events as he possibly could. This meant weekend games, winter holiday pageants, and birthday parties. “It good training ground for you,” Josh told him during the first event after they found out about Rory’s pregnancy, “once that kid becomes school age, you can kiss your weekends goodbye.”

 

Being the last game of the season, Theo made it a point to invite everyone in the family. So their crowd also included Josh’s parents, and his brother and fiancée. Mitchum and Shira were also invited, and Logan was surprised to find them absent, “Where are mom and dad?” Logan asked Honor between plays, “I have no idea” she answered back matter-a-factly.

 

When the game ended, the extended family made its way to the parking lot with the intention of meeting the rest of the team at a local ice cream shop for an end of the season celebration. As they walked toward the exit, Logan spotted his parents. They seemed out of place, dressed more for a formal luncheon than a kids’ basketball game. Charlotte reached them first, enthusiastically jumping into Mitchum’s arms.   “Hello, Logan sweetheart.” Shira greeted him.

 

 “Hi, Mom...” He greeted her, kissing her on the cheek and then nodding his head towards Mitchum “…Dad. Were you here the whole time?”

 “No, no. Unfortunately, we had a prior appointment that ran late so we were only able to catch the last 10 minutes of the game. “ Mitchum answered

 

“Well, at least you made it,” Logan answered.

 

As the three of them made their way to the parking lot, Logan couldn’t help but notice his parents giving each other knowing glances full of guilt. Sensing that his parents were up to something, Logan braced himself for the onslaught. It had been several weeks since he broke the news about his impending fatherhood. He had to admit that he was surprised and somewhat suspicious that their response was not so severe; in the past, they would have been relentlessly communicating their opinions. He was also surprised at the level of acceptance he felt from the both of them. Mitchum, now and then, would ask about Rory’s progress and make comments about setting up trust and education funds, while Shira, in a completely shocking move, insisted on throwing them a baby shower. This public acknowledgment of their less than traditional situation was an action he never expected from his mother. “What do you think she’s up to?” Logan asked Honor after learning about the shower,  “Who knows?” Honor replied, “ but don’t worry I will keep her in line.”

 

Upon reaching the parking lot, Mitchum and Shira stopped and turned to Logan. “Sweetheart, we need to tell you something. You are not going to be happy, but just remember we did it out of concern.” Logan closed his eyes and let out an exasperated exhale. He knew his parents well and understood that his plea to stay out of his business would fall on deaf ears, so this conversation was not a surprise. Since informing his parents about the baby, contact between Logan and them had been sparser than before. Questions from his parents regarding Rory and the baby were always met with short, to the point, and somewhat terse answers. There were no discussions. Logan adopted this approach to keep himself sane; his parents’ incessant questioning and strategizing would have surely driven him to parricide.

“Ok, what did you do?" Logan asked pointedly.

“We wanted you to hear this from us before it received the Gilmore spin. Again, we did this out of concern…” Shira stated

“…Mom, just spit it out.”

“We just came from lunch with Emily, Francine, and Lorelai,” Mitchum said.

Logan looked from one parent to the other, “Yes, and…?”

“Well, you have been so secretive with what is going on with you and Rory that we had to take action. So we arranged a lunch. I had lunch with Emily and Francine, and Lorelai had drinks with you father.” Shira continued

“We just wanted to find out what was going on with your two, possibly encourage them to encourage Rory to accept the opportunities we are prepared to give to her.”

 “Opportunities? Opportunities? Like what?”

 “Logan, the two of you getting married is the most ideal situation for everyone involved. We were hoping that Emily and Francine could use their influence to get Rory to see…how this could benefit her and the baby.”

 "And their response?”

Shira looked annoyed. “Well if you must know, they were not receptive to my plan. Francine was absolutely no help and Emily!  It seems she not only cut ties, but also she burned her bridges to the ground!” She said with a hint of snarkiness.

“You would think at least Lorelai would have been receptive to Rory taking the PR job I offered her, it’s not like it’s charity work. This would really bolster her career.”

Logan look stricken, something that Mitchum caught right away, “Rory did tell you about the job offer right?” 

“Yes, of course, she did, ” Logan said, scrambling to recover, “I am just surprised that you assumed she mentioned it to Lorelai.” _Well, that was a pretty weak cover_ , Logan thought to himself.

Mitchum looked a bit smug and dismissive, “Well, Lorelai was not receptive to using her influence either.”

“We did this for you sweetheart...” Shira implored

“What?!” Logan interrupted.

Shira continued, “Look, you not being married and Rory not being settled means that she is a loose cannon. She can do anything, and go anywhere and take the baby with her. What if all of a sudden she gets a golden opportunity to work on the West Coast, and she leaves and takes the baby with her? You are now based in New York Logan! Do you want that kind of life where you only see your child on weekend on alternate months and summer breaks? Do you want to go through tense custody negotiations? We figured getting Rory settled, be it you getting married or her having a job here will guarantee that you will not have to be subjected to that life.”

Logan pressed his finger to his temples, trying hard to contain his emotions. “Do you realize what you have done? Rory and I have gotten to the point that we are communicating and interacting on a regular basis. We hit a point that we are comfortable with each other and progressing at a reasonable pace. After all that’s happened this past year she is very gun shy about taking our relationship beyond parenting. There is only so much she can handle right now. I agreed to respect her boundaries. I know her well enough to know that pushing her will only make her retreat. Do you realize what you just did probably set us back to where we started, that you possibly ruined month and months of progress?”

Now Shira was angry, “Well how are we suppose to know that Logan? You haven’t told us anything in regard to Rory and the baby. Plus, the way things have gone this past two years with your personal life we didn’t trust that you were handling it well. You will learn Logan when you see your child going down the wrong path you have to intervene.”

“Mother, I am a 35 not 16. My mistakes are my mistakes. I don’t want or need you to fix things for me anymore. I said it before and I will say it again, what transpires between Rory and me is no one’s business but ours. Now, if you will excuse me, I have now do damage control. Enjoy the ice cream celebration.”

Logan went to his car and took off for Stars Hallow. He had to smooth things over with not only Rory, but also with Lorelai and Emily as well.   He couldn't help but be frustrated with Rory. He didn’t know that his father had offered her a job. In all this time she didn’t mention it. Here he thought that they had turned a corner; that they were communicating and getting closer. The progress they seemingly made the past few month was now in question; she was still not being totally forthcoming with him.

An hour or so later, he arrived in Star Hallow. He parked in front of her building and proceeded to her door. When there was no answer he went to Luke’s. There he found her, talking to Jess.

He was not happy.

Logan looked directly at Rory, “I heard what happened. Can we talk?” Glancing at Jess and then back to Rory, “Alone?”

"Sure, let’s go to my place." Rory offered.

Five minutes later, Rory and Logan walked in the door of Rory’s apartment. “What was he doing here?” the annoyed Logan asked.

“He was here visiting his family. Remember his mom does live here as does Luke.” The equally annoyed Rory answered.

“It seems that he has been hanging out an awful lot lately.”

“Not any more than usual.”

“Really? You took him to the party in Philly, you mention him practically in every conversation we have, he showed up at Lane’s party, and now he is here.”

“He’s my friend and practically a relative. We’ve known each other a long time.”

“Well, I don’t like him.”

“Yes, I know, from the very beginning you didn’t like him. I never understood why.”

“Because he still has feelings for you.”

“No, he doesn’t”

“Yes, he does.”

“Well even if he did, why do you care?”

“Because he is a threat ok? He is a threat to you and me being together. He is a threat to my kid and me having a functional relationship. You being with someone else creates another complication in an already extremely complex situation. You’re unhappy about how I feel? Well, that’s too bad because I don’t feel like I’m being unreasonable.”

“No, you’re not. “

“So, do you have feelings for him?”

“No Logan I don’t. When I said that I am not interested in a relationship, I mean that for anyone. I do not have the mental or emotional energy to deal with anything but this baby and how we are planning to parent. That’s it.”

“Well, then what is the plan? We have nothing other than the first six weeks.”

“I have thought about it. I think it would only be fair if I moved to the city. I can rent an apartment near yours and we can split the time.”

“Ok.”

“And I will look for a job.”

“So what if you can’t find one then what? What if the only thing you can find is out of the city then what?”

“I don’t know, we have to cross that bridge when we get there.”

“See, I don’t think that’s fair.”

“How is that not fair?”

“Because I have to live on pins and needles wondering what is going to happen to my family life. It would be much easier if you could just settle on something and we know where we are going.

“How?”

“I don’t know, like taking the PR job that is being handed to you?” _The one you never bothered to tell me about,_ Logan thought.

“I am not sure, I have my doubts that it’s going to work.”

“Why not? “

“Need I remind you what happened the last time I worked for your father? The resulted in 300 hours of community service, and thousands of dollars in lawyers fees to get my record expunged.”

“This is a totally different circumstance.”

“I want to see my other options.”

“Why are you making this harder on yourself? You take the job and then in a year if you don’t like it then jump to something else. It’s all planned out for your Rory, I don’t understand why you won’t take this, other people would jump at the chance.”

“I never said I would not take the job, I just need to explore my options.”

Logan let out a frustrated laugh

‘What’s so funny?”

“A secure lucrative scenario is laid out for you, handed to you on a 24 karat gold platter in fact, and you still refuse it. You are one piece of work Ace.”

Rory suddenly had an epiphany, “So let me get this straight, your father and you feel I must take it because it will be good for me and our future. That taking this would be for my/our own good?”

“Yes, it’s the best scenario out there.”

“See? There! That’s it!”

“What’s it?”

“You! You and your need to take over of everything.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Have you even been listening to what I've been saying the past year? Do you remember what I said when we said goodbye on New Hampshire? That I don't need saving.”

“Yes, you never did need saving.”

“And yet, here you are trying to save me. Wow, I used to think it was all me but I realized in just this instant, you have as much to blame as I do!”

“Again, what the _hell_ are you talking about?”

“Logan Huntzberger, who likes to take care of everything, that way guaranteeing that everything will go the way he wants.”

“I do not.”

“And even worse, if it does not go the way he wants, he takes his toys and goes home.”

“Now you are way off the mark.”

“Really, then why can’t you trust that I would commit to staying near you so you can be a parent huh? Why is it that the best situations are the ones you arrange? Is it for me and my own good, or is it so you don’t have to worry about _you_?”

Logan is silent.

“You know with you, when it comes to some of the important stuff, it's all or nothing. You're doing it now and you did it ten-years-ago. Did it ever occur to you that when you asked me to marry you all those years ago if you had given me just a little bit of space, I maybe would have said yes? But no, it had to be your plan, your timetable, despite the fact that you said I should make decisions about my future for me, remember? That didn't exactly happen now did it?"

Logan looked away as if he didn't want Rory to see the realization on his face. “So is that the way you see it now? Do you think that I am only doing this to control you? God, I've become Mitchum.”

“No, you have not become your father, no I don't see this as you trying to control me. But your inability to trust in me, to trust that I will do right by you and our kid is not sitting well with me. There are still many questions, but that does not mean that you and your family have to answer them for me. If I need help, I will ask. To be fair, I can’t blame you for just jumping in. You took care of a lot when we were together, you let me live in your apartment rent free when we were at Yale, you practically paid for everything during college, then you financed some my traveling to London. It was a weird dynamic we fell into. It’s something that I don’t feel comfortable doing anymore.”

“It’s because I love you, Rory. You never needed anything from me, and because of that, I wanted to give you everything. I still want to give you everything.”

“Well, everything at this moment would mean space.”

“I just need to know, are we done? Do you not love me?”

“I can't answer that question for you or anyone. Right now that door is closed. It's not locked, just closed.”

“And you have no idea when it will be open again?”

“I don't know when it will open again, and when it does I can’t promise it will be you that I will seek. It all a mystery now. It's your choice to wait Logan and how long you are willing to wait is entirely up to you.”

"Fine. Then I have to trust that you will do the right thing."

"Yes, you do."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, "I'm scared Rory. I don't want to mess this up. How am I to know it will be ok?"

"You don't. It's called a leap of faith."

"You jump you, I jump Jack."

"Exactly."

"I am still not 100% convinced."

"You have nothing to worry about."

"How do I know that? People make promises all the time."

"Yes, but I am a Gilmore. Gilmores keep their promises."

 

A half hour later, Logan walked into the Dragonfly. He made his way towards the dining room and found Lorelai and Emily having tea.   They looked to him with a bit of surprise as he walked to their table. “Lorelai, Emily I’m sorry to interrupt.”

“That’s alright Logan. We’re just a bit surprised to see you here.”

“Well, I heard about the incident with my parents and I wanted to personally tell you that I have dealt with them and they will not be bothering you again.”

Emily and Lorelai looked at each other and then back at Logan, “Well, thank you, Logan.” Emily responded, “ I hope you were not too hard on them. You do understand what they did was out of concern.”

“Yes, I do, but that is no excuse for trying to involve you in any of their fiendish plans.”

“Well, we do what we need to do,” Emily responded looking at him and then to Lorelai. “Well, if you will excuse me, I think I’ll rest up a bit before dinner. See you at six Lorelai?”

“Yes, mother,” Lorelai responded.

Logan helped Emily out of her chair and they said their “good-byes”, leaving Logan alone with Lorelai.

“Care you join me for some tea?” Lorelai asked Logan.

Logan knew this was more of an order than a request. He and Lorelai have not talked since he asked for her blessing to ask Rory to marry him ten years ago.   The tension between them was palpable, and it was time to clear the air.

“Sure Lorelai”

As he sat down, a waitress came around with a new teacup, a fresh pot of tea, and a plate of sandwiches.

“Try the sandwiches. They may look frilly and unappetizing, but they are really good.”

Logan had a sandwich. Lorelai was right, they were good.

“So” Lorelai started.

“Soooo.” Logan responded.

“It’s been a while. How’s life been treating you?”

“Oh, you know. Work, broken engagements, unplanned pregnancies, you know life.”

Lorelai gave Logan a sarcastic smile. “I can’t imagine you are too happy with me at the moment,” Logan said, not wanting to prolong the torture.

“Yes, well of all the situations I pictured my daughter to be in, this is probably at the bottom of my wish list.”

“And how much of this situation are you contributing to my influence?”

“50/50. I know my daughter is no saint. To be honest with you, I too feel guilt in this situation. I had no idea that she was in such a precarious state. Hell, I didn’t even know about you until last summer. She was not as forthcoming about her life as she once was.”

“Well, she was dealing with a lot of self-doubt with the job and everything else.”

“Yes, she was. As she said time and time again, she was not living her life deliberately. Now,” Lorelai paused and then continued with some emphasis, “she is and I see her getting her life back on track.”

Logan, sensing her tone, replied, “and you are afraid that I will derail her progress.”

“Well, if we are being honest here, you were part of her initial derailment. I am not blaming you per se Logan, it’s not like you deliberately set out to sabotage her, but you cannot deny that your relationship was not her best decision.”

“How do you know that? How do you know that this was actually one of the best things that ever happened to her? I mean on paper your situation was not ideal at all, but can you say that having Rory was a mistake?”

“No, my situation was not ideal, and in no way having Rory was a mistake. I know that people put themselves in precarious positions. It’s not about what happens to you, but what you make of it. What you learn from it and move on in a more positive way. I learned many things about life and about myself by becoming a mother at 16. Rory is going to learn a lot about life and herself in becoming a mother at 33. What I don’t want is for her to be stuck in that destructive circle of which you were a key player. I don’t want Rory to be dragged down by dead weight.”

“So you think I am dead weight?”

“Are you? Your relationship was not the healthiest in the world. It’s obvious that you want her back, that you want to be a family, but what does that look like Logan? Do you go on the way you have the past years  because the way I see it if you continue on in the manner that you have, your relationship is doomed.”

“Look, I know that the way we carried on was not the best reflection of us. If I could go back and change things I would, but I can’t so now I have to move forward and try to be better.”

“And what does that entail?”

“Supporting her during the pregnancy, being a good father, letting her do what she needs to do personally, being honest with her about how I feel and communicating that to her.”

“So you weren’t honest with her before.”

“I am assuming you know how we reconnected and subsequently got back together.”

“I know the highlights, but not the gory details.”

“Then you know about the whole “Vegas” agreement.”

“Yes, which you willingly entered into.”

“Willingly yes, albeit reluctantly.”

“Really.”

“After we…got together, I was ready to break it off with Odette. I knew that day that Rory was the one for me. But then she brought up “Vegas”. It broke my heart Lorelai. I thought she did not love me the way I loved her. Yes, I should have walked away, but I couldn’t. Yes, the affair was partly because of my guilt over obligations to Odette and my family, but most of it was my hope, my hope that Rory would tell me that she loved me and wanted to give our relationship a try. Had she done that at any point in the past two years, Odette would have been gone.”

“I see.”

“I told myself that being with her was a way to get her out of my system once and for all.  But, to be honest, I was scared Lorelai, scared of losing her. I could not give her up. So I took what I could get and I played along. Come on Lorelai, have you ever been so scared of losing something or someone that you played along hoping that things would change?”

Lorelai considered Logan’s word. She thought about the months she spent biting her tongue and agonizing over Luke when he first found out about April all those years ago. Her not being honest about her feeling led to her and Luke breaking up and her eventual failed marriage to Christopher.   Seeing Logan’s situation in this light, Lorelai felt sympathy for him.

“Looking back it was stupid, but in a way, it’s also what has gotten me to life as it is today, and to be truthful, I can’t say that I am totally unhappy about it.” Logan continued, “Rory and I have a chance to be together, and this time I am doing everything I can to make it work.

“Ok then,” Lorelai replied, “I now understand. To be honest, I can’t say that I can harbor any hatred towards you. You have been rock solid through this whole situation; there are men would have bolted. I am just wondering Logan what happens if things don’t work out, what happens that is after all of this, Rory decides that she doesn’t want to be with you? Will you be able to handle that?”

“I think at this point that is not the question. Rory and I are inextricably linked no matter what. If our relationship plays out that way, then I guess I will have to deal, because there is no way I will let anything come between me and my child. However, until that happens, I am going to do everything in my power to make us a family. I don’t care if I have to wait a year or a hundred year. Until Rory tell me definitively “no” then I’m going to keep fighting.”

“Well, alright then,” Lorelai said with a slight smile.

“Alright then.” Logan grinned back.

Lorelai took a sip of her tea, “Why do I feel the need to order pie with vanilla ice cream?’


End file.
